Nothing new here

Sorry I haven't posted in so long, I was just waiting for something exciting to happen that I could write about, but I keep coming up empty so I'll just have to write about how boring my life is. My job is still the status quo. My stalker is still stalking; the sexual harassers are still harassing; the crazies are still crazying. I found myself pondering today whether sustained abject boredom could in fact drive someone insane. I think the answer is yes. But I also know that dwelling on the boredom and the listlessness and the OH MY GOD THE BOREDOM also courts madness. But I don't know what the solution is. I tried the getting-a-new-job route, to no avail. Should I just resign myself to my fate, which is that I will forever do nothing for a living and be doomed to live eight hours a day for the rest of my life in a lethargic stupor? Perhaps.

In other news, I'm playing with the idea of running a half-marathon. No doubt this is merely a giddy fantasy brought on by enduring hour upon hour of soul-sucking lassitude, but nevertheless, the idea is sitting there in my brain like a big giant lump of are-you-kidding-me? I don't know...I've been running about twice a week lately...which apparently in my mind qualifies me to run a half-marathon. But seriously, even though I've only been running on a treadmill, I've been enjoying the experience much more than I ever would have thought likely, and I've been wondering (fantasizing) about taking it to the next level. So maybe. We'll see. And I guess I should also admit here that a part of the fantasy involves me becoming very thin and toned in a long-distance-runner sort of way, meanwhile burning so many calories that I can eat burger after burger with nary a fat cell to show for it. Dream on, sleepy dreamer.

The only other thing that has been happening in my life is that I have been tearing through books like the library's on fire. That's the good and bad part of working mere feet from the popular fiction section of a large library. Bad because my reading has been very disorganized of late. Not that it ever is very organized, but as some of you may have noticed, I have a long list of books on my sidebar that have been there for quite some time now, that I can't ever seem to get around to reading. And every day I find more stuff that I want to read, and I start checking out books willy-nilly. There just isn't enough time in the day, dammit! Oh well, I guess there are worse habits to have.

Anyway, that concludes today's rambling thoughts. Carry on.

Like banging my head against a brick wall

So I'm sitting here at work thinking, "OK. Today's not so bad. My stalker has only been in once today (for a duration of three hours, but still) and he didn't even talk to me. Yesterday he didn't talk to me AND he didn't sit near me at all. Things are looking up. I am winning this war."

Then a perfectly benign looking guy comes up and asks me where the construction books are. I tell him where I think they might be and am just about to go back to the very important blog I was reading when he says, "You sure are purty." *SIGH*

I mean, OK, on one very small hand it's flattering and nice. He wasn't too gross about it or anything, and I think he genuinely meant it as a compliment and not necessarily as a stalker-esque come-on. But still. People. I am a LIBRARIAN. I am not some girl standing on a street corner handing out free information. WHY OH WHY do men think it's OK to say this to professional women (or any women really, but particularly women who are AT WORK AND CURRENTLY WORKING)? Would they say it to a woman lawyer or a woman doctor? Really, the sexism in this world continues to amaze me. Would I go up to a man sitting at a desk and say, "Wow, you sure are a hottie! And incidentally, can you tell me where the books on Hitler are?"*

All of which makes me come to the conclusion that some men seem to see any woman, anywhere, whether she is at work or no, as a potential screw. And I'm sorry to have to put it so bluntly, but there it is.

Here is the thing: a little flirting, if the woman seems OK with it, is fine. We all know this. But there are unacceptable forms of flirting WITH SOMEONE WHO IS AT WORK and not falling over drunk at a bar or advertising herself on a street corner (although in that case I guess she'd still be at work) which includes: telling them they are pretty, cute, adorable, gorgeous, or mentioning anything that refers to their physical being; calling them honey, baby, sweetie, or any term of endearment one generally saves for one's closest relatives (unless the man is old enough to be your grandfather and says it in a non-gross way, in which case it's OK); leering at the person; using any pick-up line whatsoever; and finally, asking the person questions of a personal nature. If flirting should get to such a level that both parties find it agreeable to partake in any of the activities mentioned above, the flirting should be taken outside of the person's workspace so that all other transactions with members of the public remain professional and so that one doesn't get fired. Otherwise, these things should be avoided at all costs. They just should. I don't know how I know this, but I do.

And I know you all know this, too, but I feel better for having laid out the rules for any of my fellow human beings who may have missed that day in Societal Relations class.

Thank you.

*The answer, by the way, is no I would not.

I know I shouldn't laugh

...but a woman came in to the library today who had a piece of duct tape over her mouth. It wasn't as though she had just been kidnapped and had run into the library wild-eyed and disheveled having escaped her captors in a frenzied chase, a la a Lifetime Television Movie. Nope, she was just sitting there calmly reading a book, pleasant as can be. With a square of duct tape covering her mouth.

Yep. It is sad for sure, but also a little bit funny. Because if you can't laugh at the psychos? Who can you laugh at?

Violent tendencies

Something has been eating away at me, and it pertains to the last post I wrote about sexual harassment.

A man has been coming into the library every day for the past week, sitting in the chairs next to my work station, staring at me for a long time, then approaching me, usually when I'm alone, and asking me personal questions, such as whether or not I'm married. I've tried to nip this stalker in the bud myself by being brusque with him, rude even, and making it plain that I want to have nothing to do with him. What worries me, though, is that while any sane mentally balanced man would have gotten the hint by now that I am not at all interested in talking to him, he continues to come into the library every day and perform this routine. It keeps me awake at night, and I am now actually scared of going to work. On Friday I spoke with one of the security guards at the library and he was very sympathetic - he told me that all I had to do was call security and they would remove him. On the other hand there are several security guards who work at the library, and I don't kow if they would all be so sympathetic. However, the larger issue here is that I'm worried about my personal safety, not really while I am at work, but rather while I'm travelling to and from work, and even while I'm in my home. I think about it constantly. My BF is going out of town for a week starting Friday, and I'm afraid something will happen while he's gone. I feel like I'm trapped in this little panicky world of fear, and frankly it's pissing me off that I have to worry and obsess over something as simple as being at work every day, just because some asshole is insane and won't take no for an answer.

And I worry that having this guy thrown out of the library will only make him angry, and will make him more focused on me as a target.

And I'm infuriated that I have to put up with all this bullshit because the administration at the library won't give us an office, so I have to sit in full view of the public all day long, subject to the passing insanities of whichever psychopath walks through the door.

I want to beat someone up.

It just keeps getting better

I have a dilemma (when don't I?). I've been getting what I casually refer to as "sexually harassed" at my job on a daily basis. Not necessarily by one person (though there are a few of those, too), but mostly from drive-by harassers. By this I mean men who leer at me as they walk by my "desk" in the lobby and say something along the lines of, "How you doin', baby?" It looks ridiculous when I type it, but I swear it happens.*

*I realize that I cannot adequately convey the lechery that these guys put into their eyes and voices. Reading it in print, it seems like I'm completely overreacting. However, I know what I feel and it ain't pretty, and it ain't harmless.

So my dilemma is: how do I react to these men, and in a way that won't get me fired? It's not like I can tell them to eat shit and die, which would be my normal response. So far I've been so taken aback by the casual lewdness that I barely have time to scowl and look away, much less say anything in response. The thing that really gets me is that I know these guys know that they're making me uncomfortable; in fact, that's the whole point of it for them. They know (don't they? they must) that I am in a public service position and that as such I must put on a happy face and appear polite and friendly to everyone, and that I'm not smiling and saying hello to them because I want to hook up with them after work.

What do I say? How do I respond? Usually they're gone before I can open my mouth so it's not like I can go off on some diatribe about respecting my authority or anything. My thought as I'm writing this is that there is really nothing I can do - jerks are going to be jerks, and unfortunately as a young-ish, not wholly fugly woman, this type of stuff is going to happen and I'm just going to have to grin and bear it, given the dregs of humanity that pass through the door. *Bastards* But in case any of you faithful readers have some helfpul advice, I'm putting this question out to you.

So yeah, about the heat

First things first, I would like to give myself a big pat on the back for refraining from talking about the heat wave the entire week. Thank you very much. All I have to say about the heat itself: it was hot; it was excruciating; I survived, as did millions of others.

Second, I would like to point out that air conditioning has been broken at my work since last Tuesday. Which, luckily for me, resulted in an early dismissal on Tuesday and a day off on Wednesday. However, we've been forced to work Thursday, Friday, and Saturday in sweltering conditions. Some of the subject divisions have been closed because the librarians refuse (as is their Union-given right) to work in such heat. But the end result of all this is that I, sitting near said closed divisions (and on a Saturday, no less), have now become the sounding board FOR EVERY SINGLE FUCKING COMPLAINT about the divisions being closed. Do I look like I give a god damn, people? NO. I myself would rather be at home lying in air conditioned splendor than sitting here listening to you lose your shit because you can't check out a library book.

This is all further evidence, of course, that I have chosen the wrong profession, the wrong city to live in, the wrong interests and hobbies, and the wrong personality with which to go out into the world.