The Christmas that wasn't

OK, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. Here's the story: the BF and I decided to stay here on the East Coast this year instead of going to see relatives for Christmas, both for monetary and sanity reasons. This is the first time either one of us has not spent Christmas with one or both of our families. But we were both kind of looking forward to finally having the holiday to ourselves, rather than shuttling back and forth between families, worrying about the cat while we're away, waiting in crowded airports and on crowded runways, paying exorbitant prices for a bottle of water, etc. Oh yeah, and not having to put up with the more annoying elements of our respective relations. But we've found that Christmas on our own isn't quite as much fun as we'd imagined. Here's a quick rundown of how we've so far spent this much-anticipated holiday:

11:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.: Bake "traditional" Christmas fare (BF=banana bread, me=apple pie, chex mix)

4:30 p.m.: Go for walk around neighborhood. Weather is clear and a balmy 55 degrees Fahrenheit, after weeks of cold-ass wintry conditions. Feels a bit non-Christmasy.

5:00 p.m. - Play rousing game of Trivial Pursuit. Decide to quit after 25 minutes.

5:35 p.m. - Eat dinner of canned soup. Watch surfing documentary (BF's idea, but is oddly amusing.)

7:00 p.m. - Turn off the TV. Try to think of something else to do.

7:30 p.m. - Turn to one another, amidst a metaphorical chorus of chirping crickets. "So. This is why people visit other people during the holidays."

We are now sitting in separate rooms, me writing a blog entry, and BF looking at other people's digital photos on the Internet. It's not that we're homesick, though I suppose maybe we are a bit. It's just that we've spent the better part of every day this week together, and frankly, we would gladly welcome the addition of a third (or fourth, maybe even fifth) party. We've watched all the movies we want to watch, we've seen the National Christmas Tree (not that impressive), and we've played every game that can be played with only two people (that would be Trivial Pursuit). Our neighborhood is shut down and locked up tight; I think we're the only people still left in our building, possibly in all of Arlington. We, in short, are bored.

Personally, there's a part of me that really misses going to church at Christmas (though this feeling oddly disappears the rest of the year); I feel a little lost without the Christmas mass to anchor me to the holiday and the season. When I was growing up, going to church on Christmas Eve was the final obstacle standing between me and Christmas morning. Once church was over, the real fun could begin. In traditional Catholic manner, we had to work for redemption (i.e. gifts), but the relief of the work being over was almost as sweet as the reward itself. As I got older, I liked going to church on Christmas for different reasons, but the most important was that it had become the cornerstone of our family's celebration of the holiday - buying a new outfit to wear to church, getting all dressed up, singing carols before mass, admiring the church all decoratedwith lights and flowers, listening to the Christmas story for the millionth time, and ending the mass with a jubilant version of Joy to the World, knowing that an abundance of presents lay in wait for me. To be honest, the religious messages of Christmas were never very meaningful to me, but now that I'm no longer a practicing Catholic I miss that element of the holidays a little bit. Without mass, Christmas feels much like any other day, and it disorients me. I thought about finding a Catholic church that I could attend for just this one evening, but for some reason I didn't. I guess now that I don't believe in the teachings of the church I thought it would be too hypocritical to attend mass just to satisfy my need for a little "tradition."

So the only thing left to do is drink.

Merry Christmas!

I'm back! (well, sort of)

Hi Everyone,

OK, I've been inspired to continue the blog but I'm going to make some improvements to the lay-out and whatnot during my Christmas break, and then posting will resume. Please don't leave me, my five faithful readers!

See ya

As my five readers are probably aware, my recent posts have considerably decreased in quality, so I'm going to take a few weeks off to regroup and decide whether or not to continue the blog. Now, before you all start getting weepy, I should tell you that I have an interview with the University of Maryland on Tuesday which may provide some good blog fodder. Hopefully not, but we'll see. Anyway, thanks to all of my adoring fans - over and out (for now).

Shame on me

Sharp readers may notice a slight change to the previous post - I said some not-very-nice-things about a fellow blogger, and now I feel bad for talking trash since I really don't want to be that kind of blog, so I have deleted the offensive remarks. Once again, I suck.

More evidence of suckage: I am applying for an Information Manager position in which the announcement stated quite clearly they were looking for someone with mad web skillz, so I am hastily trying to update my "online portfolio" - you know the one. The only problem? I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I don't remember anything from my one-weekend class from over a year ago and now I have extra spaces hanging out all over the place, and God knows what else. I so don't deserve this position. And I probably won't get it, so it's win win all the way around.

In case I don't have the time or inclination to blog tomorrow, Happy Halloween!

Beauty is in the eye of the blog reader

After browsing some librarian blogs this evening, it has occured to me that perhaps I ought to spend more time prettifying my blog and adding some bells and whistles if I actually want anyone to read it. Of course, I'm not sure that I really do want anyone other than my friends to read it...

So anyway. I guess I'm too quick to judgment, because after watching the rest of The Office season one episodes I've repealed some of my earlier criticisms. The episode with the basketball game was both cringe-inducing (I had to look away from the TV a few times), and uniquely American. As the show went on, it seemed Carell really made the asshole boss character his own. But I have yet to see any shows this season so I don't know if they're continuing to improve or not. And since probably no one cares anyway, I won't pontificate any further.

Oh yeah, I just read this very interesting thing called Lies I Learned in Library School. It looks like it used to be part of a blog, and now it's just some sort of random floating-on-the-web-in- limbo page. I thought a lot of you might be able to relate to this (hi girls!), even though I think it was written a few years ago. "Librarian shortage," indeed. Ha!

She lives!

Contrary to popular belief, I am still alive. Alive and kicking, some might say. Actually, probably just alive. Well, you know how I hate to beat a dead horse. But. And I swear this is absolutely the last thing I will say on the subject - October 18. High of 78 (so let's say 25 for those of the Celsius persuasion). Just let those two concepts marinate for a moment. Now I know that technically Virginia is considered the South, but come on - I barely live in Virginia; it's practically Maryland, for God's sake. And yet I am forced to put up with this literally hellish weather.

OK, that's it. Will not mention the heat again.

Oh yeah, The Office, American style. Not as good as the British one, I'm afraid to say. For one thing, The Office was, is, and always will be Ricky Gervais. Steve Carell is good, but he just doesn't have the frenetic energy of Gervais, which is basically what made the show. And the other problem, aside from the fact that if you've seen the British version you already know most of the story lines, which in at least the first two episodes are almost verbatim the B-version, is the fact that you are always aware this is just a TV show. In the British version, the uncomfortable silences and awkwardness of the actors were so real that you really felt this office existed somewhere and was being filmed. And finally, all the actors in the American version are just too damn good-looking. Even the unattractive people are still attractive - maybe it has to do with the lighting or the make-up, but whatever it is they still come across as TV-ugly, rather than ugly ugly. Not to say that the British actors are ugly, but they are just unattractive enough to look like real people. Also, British accents will always be funnier (to Americans) than American accents. That's just the way it is.

Yep.

And of course www.whitehouse.org

These are really good

Hi all. Well, I'm feeling like a total waste of space right now because every day I come to work, surf the Web, play computer solitaire, and generally contribute nothing to mankind while getting paid to do it. So I have decided that I will use this blog as a forum to get the word out about very important web sites that could save the world and probably cure cancer. Here they are:

www.mycathatesyou.com
A must if you enjoy seeing photos of pissed-off cats (and who doesn't?).

www.20q.net
This is an artificial intelligence game - I started playing last year while bored to death at eHelp, and it has gotten so much smarter since then - you have to check it out.

Chatological Humor
This is Gene Weingarten's chat on Washingtonpost.com. It's diverting. A caveat: you must be registered at Washingtonpost.com to view site (it's free).

Tell Me About It
Only read this if you like to read relationship advice columns. See above caveat.

Hello, I Am Fat
Great, very funny (yet touching, but not in a gross way) blog about being overweight/trying to lose said weight. Probably not for you if you are a guy or a skinny woman who's never been overweight. Otherwise, lovely.

www.Powells.com
For obvious reasons. Also, they have author interviews and book reviews on their site.

If you guys have other boredom-sucking websites you'd like to share, please do so, because I'm dying here.

Apologies to Nabokov

So I finished reading 'Lolita' and now I see where he was headed; I feel bad for doubting him. Yet another example of why I suck. Anyway...I have made another Brilliant Observation regarding life, the universe, and everything, and it is this: there seem to be only two kinds of jobs in this world - those that overwork a person to the point of burn-out, and those that bore one to the brink of insanity. I, obviously, am currently engaged in the latter of the two, but I just have to wonder why the working world can't be more balanced. If I think back, it seems to me that every single job I have ever had has been a member of the boredom party. Is it me? Am I attracted to jobs that require so little of me? I don't know. Maybe it's just the jobs I get offered - I have so few skills that I only get the ones where the highest qualification is a pulse.

And now for the weather report: we've been blessed here in Northern Virginia with a couple of cool (read: low 70s, high 60s) days, and finally I can walk outside without feeling like dying. Yay!

Unfortunately I have nothing left to talk about now. I haven't seen any good movies lately - I've become a Netflix drone and the entire third season of Six Feet Under has been clogging my queue for the past two weeks. I like the show and all, but I'll be glad to start watching something about the land of the living again. And I'm happy to report that next up in my queue is the American version of The Office, staring the lovely and talented Steve Carrell. I'll let you know what I think of it, of course.

A post with curiously religious overtones

So I've been reading more of 'Lolita' - I'm almost finished now, actually - and I have changed my mind about the book. No, it's still about a pedophile, but I've decided that Nabokov is writing a social satire of 1950s America, an era in which girls and young women were encouraged, practically forced, to become nothing but sexual objects subservient to men. Thus the premise that the narrator and aforementioned pedophile, Humbert Humbert, is given every break in the world in order to have his disgusting way with Lolita - not to give too much away (I know you're all going to rush right out to read it), but through certain circumstances Humbert actually becomes Lolita's guardian. At least, I think that's what Nabokov is getting at, but as I said, I never was very good at the critical analysis. Anyway, it's the only interpretation that makes any sense to me, but I'm going to be a good little reader and find some more criticism to read once I'm through with the book. I'll be sure to let you all know what I find out.

So, how is Fall treating you all? Fall is treating me very poorly, as it has not yet arrived here, and once again I fear it is never going to arrive, but will instead go straight to Winter sometime in December. (And yes, I know seasons aren't supposed to be capitalized but it reads better.) It is still shorts weather here, with a predicted high of 80 degrees tomorrow. In case I haven't mentioned it enough, I HATE IT HERE. Sorry, I just had to get it out of my system. At least I've learned one very important thing about myself, which is that I enjoy experiencing all four seasons as God intended - on the northern hemisphere, in a place where the weather is mild and non-sticky.

In other news, has everyone heard the talk about Ben Affleck running for senator of Virginia? God help us all.

Somebody took a gloom pill today (it was me).

Hi kids. Sadly, there's not much to report this week. My job is still ridiculously BORING...supposedly my boss is going to come up with some projects for me and possibly let me do some instruction at some distant point in the future when she gets herself "organized." Little does she know that I'm planning on being out of there by then. I've gotten a couple of calls for interviews since I accepted this position (one of which being the mind fuck), but I sorta feel obligated to stay here for a decent period of time, and by decent I mean about three months. But of course life never quite follows our own plans for it, so I'm in somewhat of a quandary about my next step. Do I keep applying for jobs, and if something comes up sooner rather than later just go for it? Or do I hold off for a few months, and then start looking? The flaw with that plan is that it took me five months to even find this job the first time around. *Sigh* I just don't know. I even went so far as to post a message on the Washington Post's job advice forum, but no one has responded so now I feel retarded. I'm also dealing the realization right now that I simply cannot afford to live in this region. I can't. And it's doubtful I will find a job here within the next several months that will pay enough to ever afford it. (Also, I don't like it here, which you all well know.) So, I've been sorta applying for jobs in other areas, but since I'm entry-level I don't really expect much to come of that. But then contemplating another move also makes me feel like shiznit.

In a nutshell, life sucks. I know, I'm so fucking gloomy. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever not be gloomy. But as long as we're talking about gloominess, I should discuss my current book, 'Lolita.' Um, this book is about a pedophile. At least so much as I have read. Somehow in all the pop culture references I have seen to it, I had a vague idea in my mind that the book was about a man seduced by a 15-ish come-hither vixen. Nope, it's actually about a man having sex with a twelve-year-old child. I'm trying to keep an open mind, as I'm sure there must be some literary value to this book, but I'm just having trouble getting past that one aspect at the moment. And it's all the more difficult given that the book is written in a somewhat humorous tone. This is why I will never be getting an advanced degree in literature--I'm horrible at critical analysis. I started reading some criticisms of the book to see why it has become such a classic and everyone seemed to skirt around this issue that it is about a pedophile. I'm obviously missing something here. In one of the summaries I read, the critic mentioned in all seriousness that the girl seduces the man (which is what the narrator, the man, says happened) but I'm sorry, does anyone actually believe a twelve-year-old is capable of seducing anyone? So now I'm thinking that Nabokov wants us to be sickened by the main character, but for what purpose? I'm going to keep reading, but the whole thing just grosses me out. If anyone wants to enlighten me, I'd appreciate it.

And another thing

You can see photos of the protest at Washington Post under the headline Antiwar Fervor Fills D.C. (click on the Photos: Weekend Protest link). I stupidly didn't bring my own camera. I didn't stay for the concert, as was I was tired, hungry, and had to pee; also, I was by myself and didn't really fancy going to a concert alone. But I did hear a lot of the speakers before the march, including Jesse Jackson and Cindy Sheehan, who were both wonderful, articulate, and pissed off. The only downside to the whole thing was that there were a lot of different factions with their own agendas regarding Cuba, Palestine, Hurricane Katrina, what have you, and I felt that detracted from the overall message. Needless to say, I did not participate in the 'Long live the Intifada!' chant. But still, it was a good time.

I am officially a true liberal. I can die now.

I went to my first antiwar rally/march on Washington yesterday, and it was marvelous. 150,000 - 200,000 progressive people (for the most part) gathered in one place, chanting, carrying varying and often clever anti-Bush/antiwar signs, and all committed to getting the truth out about the war. Lovely. And the fuckers (aka right wing nutjobs, aka conservatives) only had a piddly two hundred people show up to protest our protest, and by the time I made it to their little corner, most of those people had left. It really was awesome, even though Bush was in Colorado for some reason that no one really understands, and Cheney was in surgery. But Laura Bush was actually on the Mall that day at the National Book Festival (which sadly I had to miss), and I hope we made her cry. I don't care if she's a librarian. So all in all, a really great, heady experience. I felt that I was actually doing something with all my hatred for once. Did it make one iota of difference to anyone in the administration or any of the people in this country who continue to doggedly support a lying, manipulative chief executive? Doubtful. But it felt good, dammit. It felt like 200,000 people staring all the right-wingers with their high and mighty righteousness in the eye and saying, "No, YOU shut up!"

Not much can top that experience, so I expect the rest of my life to be anticlimactic. Just kidding. But the rest of the week will probably be boring, though. I'm still between books but I've put 'Lolita' (for my book club) and the third book in the Fandorin series, whose title I can never remember, on hold at the public library. The Fandorin series, if you don't know, is by Russian author Boris Akunin (who is supposedly a huge celebrity in Russia) and it is really lovely - it's a detective series set in turn-of-the-century Russia, but the stories range all over Europe. The second one was called 'Murder on the Leviathan' and it's one of those 'Murder on the Orient Express' type mysteries, only this one was set on an ocean liner. Apparently Akunin has written ten books with Detective Fandorin so far, but only three of them have been released in the U.S. Anyway, I highly recommend the first two books in the series - the first one is called 'The Winter Queen.'

If you haven't noticed, I seem to be reading a lot of mysteries lately, and I don't really know why. Just one of those things.

I can't take rejection

Today I would like to address the reject letter. More to the point, I would like to address the newest trend in rejection, the reject email. I've received as many or more reject emails in my job search thus far than I have traditional letters, and this bothers me. First, I should acknowledge that I realize why reject emails are all the rage--they're quicker, more convenient, less expensive, and less formal (thus, I suppose, meant to decrease the sting of rejection) than reject letters that come through the mail. However, it is the great convenience and informality of these emails that I find distasteful. They are akin to dumping someone over voice mail. If I am going to go to the trouble of preparing for an interview, lose a few hours' sleep the night before fretting over it, buy expensive interview outifts and get all dolled up in pantyhose and a jacket in 100 degree heat, I think the least an employer could do is slap a stamp on an envelope to let me know I didn't get the job. Yes, it means there's an extra 24 hours of suspense while the post office delivers it, but when it's been six weeks since the interview, I'm pretty sure you gave the job to someone else. All the letter does is tell me that someone took ten minutes out of their day to open up a Word document, type out a form letter, print it out, fold it, address an envelope, seal it, and drop it in the mailbox. An extra ten minutes is all that I'm asking for, and a little ink and a stamp. I think they owe me that much.

But I will say that a reject email is preferable to total radio silence, which is just lame and unprofessional (NASA, I'm looking at you). Anyway. I finished reading 'My Life So Far' by Jane Fonda, and while I tihnk she may be kidding herself a little bit about the repercussions of her trip to North Vietnam, all in all I found it fascinating. I also just finished reading 'The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency' by Alexander McCall Smith, which was also sweet and enjoyable. Not life shattering, but a nice little read. I think I will continue reading the books in the series. Right now I'm between books (I hate that), but my personal library--consisting mainly of paperback books with a yellow 'Used' label on the spine--arrived in the mail a couple weeks ago, so I might go through my books and find something I haven't read yet or re-read something in my 'collection.'

Blah blah fuckin' blah

So I guess all three of my readers probably want to know how the first week at my new job went. Well, I don't really have much to add to last week's posts. I can only hope that eventually I get assigned some projects to do. Which reminds me - all my Canadian friends, I applied for the Public Services Librarian position at the Greater Victoria Public Library. Of course I won't get it, they probably won't even look at my application since I'm American, but I figured it was worth a try. Just the thought of living in Victoria made me so happy that I knew I at least needed to send in my resume. You will all be disgusted to know that it is still in the high 80s and humid here - I'm beginning to wonder when Fall comes (it doesn't, I've asked around). I'm beginning to get the sinking feeling that the weather here goes directly from uncomfortably hot to uncomfortably cold, and I just don't think my delicate Northwest nerves can take it. Why people actually live in climates like this is beyond me - if you knew there were better places to live, why not just move? I don't get it. All I know is, if I had been one of the Jamestown settlers I would have said, 'Screw this, I'm going back to England.' But that's just me, obviously. No starch in the backbone whatsoever.

And one more thing - will the bastard who keeps spamming the comments please stop? I didn't think so. Asshole.

You should see this

Just a quick note to say that I saw 'The Constant Gardener' last week (shut up) and I think it was the best movie I've seen so far this year. I highly recommend it. The cast was excellent, and for once Rachel Weisz didn't irritate the crap out of me (she's too pretty for her own good). Very very excellent movie. Ralph Fiennes is in it, too, which is reason enough for any straight woman with a pulse to head directly to the nearest theatre. For the men, there's of course Rachel Weisz I guess, if you like that sort of thing.

Anyway, still trudging along at work. I'm not sure why I was hired, to tell the truth. I'm not being self-deprecating; what I mean is, I'm not sure why anyone was hired for another full-time position there, since there doesn't seem to be enough for everyone to do. But it's a paycheck, so whatever.

Gotta go to bed now, bye.

What's this 8 hours a day crap?

I'm too tired to say much right now, except that the new job is going OK so far. It's kind of boring, and definitely not a professional position...I see lots of projects I could do, but I have to be careful not to step on any toes since I'm not officially a librarian here. I haven't really even encountered any reference questions so far - mostly people just want to know if we have a certain book, or come by to pick up ILL orders or print outs. The hardest part for me is remembering all the little details since I was never a library assistant so I never had to do the whole "front desk" thing. Bleah. Six months, six months, six months is what I keep repeating to myself. Tomorrow is the dreaded 2-10 pm shift. And I have to work this Saturday - 6 days in a row my first week, yippee!

Oh Jesus. I don't know if I'm gonna make it.

Quote of the day

From an editorial by Mark Morford in SFGate.com:

'Then you read that Bush has actually ordered an official probe into the botched Katrina relief efforts, a formal federal investigation into what went wrong, which is a bit like a shark ordering an investigation into what happened to all the fish.'

The editorial is full of more wonderful zingers like that, if you care to read it. And lest you think I am actually all hip and up on my current affairs, all the articles I talk about are forwarded to me by other people, usually the BF. This piece was actually sent to him by a friend of his. Isn't it great the way the progressive community is bound together by intense hatred?

As for my little break down of the other day - bygones. I'm over it. Onward and upward. Bring on the mind fuck!

I have been feeling curiously un-nervous regarding my first day of work on Monday. The main thing I'm worried about at the moment is finding time to work out, what with the screwy schedule I'll be having. It's beginning to appear that I may have to (gasp! choke!) start running or some shit like that. Blast it! As far as I know, there aren't even many good places to run around here, so that means running on a treadmill (can't and won't do Stairmaster or any other machines anymore, no way no how.) I realize that everyone is fascinated by the specifics of my work out routine, but moving on.

I just finished reading 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,' and as one of the two people who actually enjoyed the movie (the other being BF), I have to say that I didn't think the book was all that. I mean, yeah, it was funny and whatever, but it wasn't THAT funny. But it was alright, I guess. I was just expecting more since everyone poo-poohed the movie as being so much worse than the book. In all fairness to both sides, I believe the movie incorporated more of the books in the trilogy that just the first. I may or may not read the other books in the series, I haven't decided yet.

I'm now about half-way through Jane Fonda's autobiography, 'My Life So Far,' despite BF's derision. I'm actually finding it quite interesting, but then I am fascinated by celebrities' personal lives, so there you go. I've just gotten to the part where she visists North Vietnam, so I'm about to find out what the 'Hanoi Jane' stuff is all about. I know that this story is obviously very one-sided, but it appears that she has been viciously maligned by people who have twisted the facts to suit their own agendas (gee, when has THAT ever happened before?).

Well, talk to you next time. (Don't let me forget, one of these days I must remember to bore my readers with my opinions about Hillary running for president.)

Things to ponder

Why does life constantly conspire to mind fuck me? I pose this question today because I received a phone call this afternoon, two days before I am set to start my new job, from the temp agency I had signed up with in July (who I had not heard ONE PEEP from in the interim), offering me a temp-to-hire job in what sounds like my dream position. Of course I've already signed a letter of acceptance at the other place and the Human Resources wheels have been in motion for two weeks, not to mention I'm not the kind of person who can call up an employer two days before I'm set to start and say 'Just kidding!'

Ugh. So I have to pass up what could be a kick-ass opportunity just because I already said yes to a sucky job in an hour of desperation. WHY DOES LIFE TREAT ME THIS WAY?!! It tends to make me believe that I always make the wrong decision, no matter what. It tends to make me pull my hair out. It tends to make me think I will always be stuck in the gutter, working my ass off for peanuts, while everyone else is enjoying the high life. That last sentence tends to make me wonder how many cliches I can cram into one sentence.

Anyway. I don't know, anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

Also, I'm glad to see that the herpes bloggers are big fans (see comment on last post). Man, I hope that was just spam.

Oh yeah

"This aggression will not stand, man." -The Big Lebowski

O Canada...

A few things. First, if Chief Justice Roberts (we all know he will be confirmed) allows Roe v. Wade to be overturned, I am moving to Canada and I will not look back. As soon as I get citizenship, I will never admit that I was once an American, and I will deny all ties to this country. The accent needs working on, but I think I can pull it off. I refuse, REFUSE to be involved in a nation where women are treated no better than breeding dogs. This is not so much a threat (since who cares if I move to Canada?), but rather it is a promise to myself. I realize that one woman moving out of the country doesn't really matter, but if we can galvanzie all the pro-choicers and all the gays to move too, then the U.S. will eventually degenerate into a backwater of inbred hillbillies and we can all go about our business and forget it ever existed. (Then Canada can invade and take over the land.)

Secondly, I realize that my last post seemed a little paranoid, and, well, stupid. I guess I wasn't thinking clearly. What I meant to say when I claimed that Bush 'orchestrated' the disaster in New Orleans was not that he himself conspired to make Hurricane Katrina hit the city, but that his administration's policies directly contributed to the poor preparation and response in the hurricane's aftermath. Also, I made the clearly bone-headed statement that I didn't know what Bush had up his sleeve in blaming FEMA for everything. Well, obviously he's going to blame FEMA in order to deflect blame from himself and his administration, which is silly, since FEMA is a federal agency and therefore directly Bush's responsibility. But then, Bush is a silly, silly man. If you interpret silly to mean souless bastard. Andrew Sullivan has a good article about the political fallout from all this in the Sunday Times, which I tried to link to but it isn't working so here's the URL: www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2089-1764115_1,00.html

In reference to the article, you know it's bad news when even your Republican apologists turn on you. (Notice, however, that Sullivan can't resist a little dig at Hillary and the democrats).

OK, that's all the time we have for today on Political Rage with your host Stephanie. Tune in next time when we talk about whether or not Hillary should run for president.

(I was also going to put in a quote from The Big Lebowski, but now I can't remember it so never mind.)

Mary Sunshine reporting

The BF and I were discussing how if Hurricane Katrina had blown through during Clinton's presidency, you can bet he would have been there in New Orleans from the very beginning (I just can't stay mad at the guy for long). Bush is supposed to be on his way there right now, with his big profound statement, 'This is not acceptable.' Of course, had his tax cuts not weakened FEMA's ability to react to natural disasters (as opposed to terrorist attacks, which have become its main focus since coming under the jurisdiction of the Department of Homeland Security) this whole thing probably wouldn't have gotten out of hand. As it is now, Bush will be able to blame everything on FEMA, thus further weakening it. What Bush gains from doing this I cannot fathom since I am no political science wiz, but I'm sure he's got something up his sleeve. Once again, a major fiasco orchestrated by Bush will leave him smelling like a rose. Also notice how Karl Rove's little illegal activities, as well as the 900 people who died in Iraq the other day, have completely fizzled out of the media's attention? I swear, it's like Bush somehow controls the weather.

Another thing I noticed is that the vast majority of people stuck in the middle of the flooding and the in the worst conditions were black. I feel race riots coming on.

Ah, good times. In other news, I'm thinking about selling my car, and just in the nick of time, since gas prices are now at $3.10 a gallon over here. I figured out that I will be spending as much as or more in car insurance in one year than my car is actually worth, not to mention maintenance costs and gas. BF and I both have the major American fear of not owning a car, but we're probably going to join a car-sharing program so will still have access to wheels. So, anyone want to buy my car? (You have to come out here to get it, though.)

Movie reviews and other nonsense

The movie 'Junebug' finally came out here, so like a good little moviegoer I went to see it right away. I can probably trace the demise of my financial state directly to my movie habit. Anyway, that's beside the point. The point is, it was a really good movie. It's not really the type you need to see in the theatre - a DVD and a living room couch will do just fine - but I thought it was quite swell just the same. For those not into the indie thing, Junebug is about a husband and wife who, six months after they get married (having tied the knot a week after they met), go to visit the husband's family in South Carolina. The wife is the sophisticated owner of an art gallery, and although it's unclear as to what nationality she is supposed to be, she is played by British actress Embeth Davitz (evil lady in Bridget Jones' Diary), and thus has a British accent. We can see where this is going. But the movie is not as obvious as my description makes it seem; it's funny, sad, poignant, and honest about what we do and do not know about the people we're in relationships with, both romantic and familial. So, if you can afford it, I recommend going to the theatre to see it, and if not, it will make an entertaining DVD rental.

I just finished reading 'Willful Creatures' by Aimee Bender and am now on to 'Assassination Vacation' by Sarah Vowell. 'Willful Creatures', a collection of short stories, was sometimes a bit too surreal for my taste - I always feel like I need to figure out all the symbolism and try to decipher what the author is really trying to say, instead of just taking it for what it is, an enjoyably surreal, nonsensical story. But I just can't do it, I tell ya! Anyway, 'Assassination Vacation' is very Sarah Vowell-ish, in that it can be a little difficult to follow the narrative arc of her essays, what with all her (what she terms) shenanigans. This is where, every few sentences, she goes off on a tangent and sometimes it takes her awhile to wind back around to the original thought again. But she is very funny and liberal and acerbic, so I will sit back and enjoy it. (Also she admits in the book that she is a fellow driving-phobe - I am not alone!)

Well, I guess that's pretty much it for this time. I just found out today that my start date at the new job has been pushed back to September 12, so I'm kind of in a holding pattern until then. The most important thing I must do right now is not spend any money, which is so damn difficult when you've nothing else to do. Paradoxically, since I found out about this job I feel like all of my time has been sucked away and I don't have a single minute to spare - my bathroom needs cleaning and there's a pile of unfolded laundry on my bed, but somehow I've not been able to get around to completing these tasks. (Yet I found a way to take an hour-long nap this afternoon and write this blog post...hmmm.)

Forgot to mention, the library of new job is located on Haycock Road. Do you think that's a bad omen?

No longer unemployed?

I had an interview scheduled for this afternoon for another one of those 6 hr/week, out-in-the-sticks positions, and have been thinking all day about the joys of doing 8 interviews in 4 weeks. I had my whole blog post sketched out in my mind - it even involved a witticism regarding Chee-tohs. Then, right before I was going to leave for the interview, I received a phone call from the $28K evenings/weekends place informing me that I was their 'top candidate' and would be receiving an offer pending reference and background checks. So, I did what any rational person would do in my financial position and basically indicated that I would accept the offer. Then I called the other library and cancelled my interview, which was supposed to take place in an hour. I felt really bad and unprofessional doing that, but on the other hand it's not like I would have been able to take a job there anyway, so why bother wasting their time? (Of course, had that position been more lucrative than the one I accepted, I would have gone to the interview anyway.)

I'm of two minds about the whole thing: I'm glad that this came when it did, because we all know how strapped for cash I am. However, I'm not at all happy about the hours or the pay and frankly am a little crushed that my first job out of library school is so much lower than my expectations (especially since my first job out of college was pretty much the same experience). I know I have to grin and bear it and can't be picky, but I had foolishly believed that by living in this area my opportunities would be so much better. In fact, in order to survive financially out here, I needed them to be better. I won't stop looking for other positions, but everybody knows how difficult it is to look for jobs while working full time.

So anyway, about this job: I just read an article about people who got fired for mentioning their workplaces in their blogs so I'm not going to say where it is specifically, but it's at a satellite/branch library that serves two universities that focus on professional programs. I will be working mainly with two other full-time employees, neither of whom are librarians or have library degrees. So it will be ironic that I, with the graduate degree, will be working below people who don't have the degree. Interesting twist of fate, no?

But alas, it is a job, and right when I really needed one, so I will count my blessings. And no, I won't be changing the name of the blog cuz I don't want to change the URL (don't want to confuse my vast readership, you see).

Nothing is funnier than people dying for oil

Andrew Sullivan is running a contest on his blog to come up with bumper stickers about the connection between gas-guzzling SUVs and the 'War on Terror.' Here are a few:

"How many soldiers-per-gallon does your SUV get?"

"Osama Loves Your SUV."

"U.S. troops died for your SUV -- Drive it proudly."

Graphic of Osama: "LUV your SUV!"

"I'm funding terrorists, ask me how." (My personal favorite).

"SUV: Killing Americans at home and abroad"

FYI: For a Republican, he actually has some good things to say on the subject.

Utter despair

I wasn't going to write today because I am having a very bad day and wanted to punish the world by depriving it of my genius. Yeah. Also, I tried to punish the world by eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's (Phish Food, for the detail-oriented among you), but realized in time that I would only be punishing myself, and only ate half of it.

Basically, it has come to my attention that I am fucked seven ways from Sunday, financially speaking. The specter of packing my bags and moving in with my parents has been haunting me all day, and I'm not sure what to do about it. This is especially frightening because my parents are still camping in their RV in southern Oregon, and won't be going back home to Arizona until the end of October. Dear reader, if you happen to have a few thousand extra dollars lying around, I could really use it right about now.

Apparently the Librarian I position for which I had been called back for the second round of interviews will not be going to me, since I haven't heard anything about it in almost two weeks. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Profound despair now ensuing. Parents, who have now generously extended a second loan to me, are not even reachable by phone, and thus I would have to broach the delicate subject of my complete fuckage over email. Which I REALLY don't want to do.

Added to all this is the fact that the movie 'Junebug' still hasn't come out in theatres here, so not only am I drowning in self-pity, I'm bored as hell and don't even have any good movies to see. Has anyone seen '40 Year-Old Virgin' yet? Is it any good? I know I shouldn't be spending money on movies right now, but if I have to spend another evening holed up in my apartment watching Cold Case Files on A&E, things will get ugly.

I am so absorbed by my own problems right now I don't even care what asinine thing Pat Robertson is saying to ruin the country.

Phooey

Another black day on the job-hunting front. I had an interview this morning for what most MLIS grads would consider a major step in the wrong direction - a 'library specialist' position paying $28k, working afternoon and evening shifts with rotating weekends. Pardon me while I vomit. This whole thing, as I have said time and again, is so enormously frustrating. On one hand, I can no longer afford not to take anything that is thrown my way. On the other hand...are you kidding me? $28K is only $3000 more than I made at my first job out of college. This is all just getting too surreal.

BTW, haven't heard back about that menial cataloging position; you know, the one where my resume was referred to as 'impressive' (for the first and probably only time)? And speaking about not hearing back, I haven't heard back about two positions for which I interviewed, one of them being the famous LIAR one. Obviously I realize I haven't gotten the job, but I would just like to have a reject letter so I can get some closure and move on with my life. Also so I can write them a snarky letter asking for my transcript back. Oh yeah, also never heard one peep about that first interview I had back in MAY - not even an email, which I find very unprofessional. Come on, folks, let's at least be mature about this. Stupid NASA, think they're so cool going into space and shit.

Well, I'm about one month away from throwing in the towel and applying for permanent residence in Canada. If this country won't have me, maybe another one will.

Some people just don't get it

Always on the look-out for clever blogs to put on my links list, I just read a librarian's blog that was not only NOT a rant-filled, sarcastic jab at coworkers and patrons, but contained orderly and well written complete thoughts on subjects mostly unrelated to libraries. I'm sorry, but does this person not understand what a blog is? Blogs are supposed to be self-absorbed accounts of how the world has wronged you, with the occasional witty and acerbic observation thrown in. Am I wrong here? Won't be linking to that one.

Anyway, I forgot to report on the Gogol Bordello concert. The music was an interesting blend of Russian folk, punk, and ska - not something I'd listen every day, but it was a decent live act. It was also nice to be surrounded be people wearing jeans and tank tops; for once I didn't feel out of place. BF's sister also came with us - I think she was ready to run screaming from the club, and in fact ended up leaving after the opening act (she is a frequenter of the posher nightclubs and would not be caught dead wearing off-brands outside of her own home). So it was nice to see her squirm for a change.

Last night we went out to dinner, and even though I didn't have all that much to drink, I now have a wretched hangover. Part of it I'm sure is due to the fact that I am constantly dehydrated out here, which is odd, considering how humid it is. The palms of my hands are so dry my skin is peeling. Maybe I have a disease.

Things I hate

You know your life is boring when you've spent the majority of the day sleeping. I just couldn't think of anything better to do. I like sleeping because it's free, convenient, and is an activity I can do without slogging outside in the disgusting, drippy weather that defines August in DC.

Since I'm feeling grumpy and homesick today (how unusual!), here's some things I hate about DC:

1. The weather. Obviously. Murderously hot in summer, deathly cold in winter (so I hear).

2. Everyone who lives here works for the government, or for law firms or lobby firms. Which means the place is crawling with Republicans.

3. There are no neighborhoods here as you would think of them in Vancouver. There are residential zones with houses only, commercial zones with businesses only, and then there are high-rise apartment complexes.

4. Parks are defined differently here as well. Here, a 'park' is a 10 ft by 10 ft square plot of ground with a couple of scrubby trees and some benches where homeless people sleep. Undoubtedly these are also popular places to make drug deals.

5. No beaches (or mountains) in sight.

6. Palpable racial tension.

7. Georgetown, one of the livelier and more uppity neighborhoods in DC (think Kits, only with more Banana Republics and narrower sidewalks) is a bitch to get to. It's about two miles away from my apartment, but takes me 45 minutes to get there.

8. No Chinese markets for fresh fruits and vegetables.

9. There is no casual dress here. If you're not wearing designer, you might as well be scrubbing toilets.

10. I just hate it, OK?

Happy Saturday, everyone!

Injustice will be served

Tiny little article buried in the New Tork Times:

"FORT BLISS, Tex., Aug. 18 (AP) - A jury on Thursday spared Pfc. Willie V. Brand from prison time, reducing his rank a day after he was convicted in a brutal attack on an Afghan prisoner. Prosecutors had asked that the defendant, 27, be sent to a military prison for 10 years with a dishonorable discharge.

On Wednesday, a jury of four enlisted soldiers and three officers convicted Private Brand of assault, maltreatment, maiming and making a false official statement in connection with an attack on a detainee known as Dilawar at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan while Private Brand worked in a detention center there in December 2002.

The jury acquitted him of charges that he had abused a second detainee, Habibullah. Both prisoners died in December 2002."

Notice that the attack ocurred in December of 2002, and the prisoner died in December of 2002. So apparently murder is legal now in this country. Tell your friends.

In other news, I wanted to address some issues raised in that article I talked about yesterday. I started thinking that the problem with the MLIS degree as it now stands is that us plebes think of the degree as our ticket into the library profession, whereas apparently employers don't quite see it that way. While you must have the degree to be a professional librarian, having the degree does not in and of itself make one a professional librarian. This is some weird shit, because it means that people like me, who cannot afford to work part-time, sans benefits library assistant/ library tech jobs for five years till they go get their master's, cannot be librarians in the system as it is now. According to employers, I do not currently have enough 'library experience' to be a librarian, even though I have the degree. So what about people in their 30s, 40s, or 50s who have families to support, but who want to change careers midlife? According to the system, they are shit out of luck as well (although they probably have previous careers to draw from experience-wise). I cannot think of any other profession where this is the case - if you have a medical degree, you are a doctor. If you have a law degree, you are a lawyer. These fields understand that its new grads won't have much practical experience, and thus build entry-level positions into its structure to make room for them to develop.

So I have a proposal. The library profession likes the idea of a master's degree (as do I - I think it's a good idea for librarians to have a bachelor's at the very least), and yet they also think that professional librarians need years of experience in order to be conferred with that title. Therefore, why not make one year of the master's program an apprenticeship? The first year can be made up of classes on bibliographic organization and other theory, while the second year will be a practical experience in a real library, doing real librarian work. This would require a lot of cooperation from the library community, but on the other hand it also means libraries would get a lot of free labor. The students would work for credit, and would pay for the program the same ways they would if they were going to classes (student loans or part-time work). This cuts through having to take a lot of bullshit courses, and also means that people who've been working in the library field for several years could get automatic credit towards their MLIS degree - they would be able to finish in one year instead of two. I think it's genius. And I also think that the library profession needs to acknowledge that they can't have it both ways - they cannot keep pretending to be a 'scholarly' profession while requiring practitioners to have practical skills over academic ones.

That's just the way I see it.

Deep sigh

I just received this email:

'Thank you for your application; your resume is impressive. I think you must not realize, however, that the Cataloger I is an entry-level paraprofessional position. I will hold your application in abeyance unless I hear confirmation that you are indeed interested in this low-level job.'

You see what I'm up against here? Should I send them the link to that article? I hate my life.

We are not alone

A friend of mine brought this article to my attention, which proves that I'm not as big of a loser as everyone thinks I am. It also proves that, yes, in fact our MLIS program was a big fat joke and did not actually prepare us for any career, let alone a library one. So here's to SLAIS - big waster of two years of my life and about $22K!!

Although the article was comforting in a way, it was also kind of a downer. It means that while all of us new grads are feeling the pinch, it's not going to get better any time soon. How long should I wait before I start looking for a job outside the field? And what kind of job would that be? I've already proven time and again that I can do absolutely nothing.

Which brings me to my next item of business. It was suggested to me that perhaps my last post was a bit harsh. And I will admit, maybe I crossed the line from sarcastic to hostile. However, I think my point is still valid - unless people have some sort of concrete help to offer (i.e. a job), the best way to comfort an unemployed person is simply to provide ecouragement or sympathy. 'Hang in there,' is so much less rage-ifying than 'Why don't you call some law firms?' [And I won't stop slapping you long enough to explain why this last comment is offensive if you say it to me.] And also my tirade was not really meant for anyone who would be reading this blog, but it was just something I wanted to get off my chest about people out there in the world (mostly relatives and older parental-types) who don't understand what we're going through.

OK, 'life-is-shite' talk is now out of the way. I just wanted to mention that I am quite enjoying my Anne Lamott book. She has such a wonderful, funny way of describing people and their quirky behaviors. Here's a quote:

'Mattie noticed how many secrets she kept from William, so that he wouldn't see her as someone with a lot of problems. She wanted him to see her as someone with just a few pieces of colorful carry-on luggage, instead of multiple body bags requiring special cargo fees and handling.'

And no, it's not chick lit (the very moniker of which I find offensive). The novel is a little light on plot - things don't happen to the characters so much as the characters evolve over time. But that's OK - I was never very good at plot myself. And anyway, she's such a witty writer that you don't really notice.

And that's all I have to say about that. Stay tuned tomorrow for a report on the concert I'm going to tonight (anyone heard of Gogel Bordello?).

How not to offend me

I just counted, and as far as I can remember I have now applied for roughly 35 jobs since May. I don't know, maybe it's me, but this seems like a lot. This is why I'm getting just a wee bit tired of well-meaning acquaintances trying to offer me 'helpful hints' on the job search process. First of all, saying things like 'Have you checked with all the libraries yet?' freak me out a little inside. 'Well garsh, is that where I should be looking? Don't I feel like the idiot!' So unless you are in the library profession, don't even begin to tell me where I should look for a job. People seem to think that just because they may have been to some libraries in the past and maybe even checked out a book or two, this means they know about the library profession. You don't, OK?

Secondly, suggestions like, 'Maybe you're setting your sights too high,' also show complete ignorance regarding the hierarchical system of most libraries. I can and in fact I have applied for library assistant positions, but I never hear back about them because people with MLIS degrees simply do not work as library assistants. It's like someone with a JD working as a legal secretary. It just does not happen. So please, stop trying to offer me advice. Making ignorant, condescending remarks like those above imply that I am either too naive or too incompetent to conduct a job search on my own. Hell, maybe I am. But the point is, these kinds of things are not helpful to people who are already chronically depressed about their lack of emplyoment.

Now that I've finished preaching to the choir, moving on to filthy jokes. BF and I saw 'The Aristocrats' on Saturday and were highly amused. If you enjoy stand-up comedy and filthy jokes you should really see this movie. Otherwise, stay as far away from it as you can, because it will offend you and you will be disgusted. You may even have nightmares. Next I want to see 'Junebug.'

And as long as I'm just rambling here, I finished the Rwanda book and also finished 'A Girl Named Zippy.' The latter is pretty fluffy and I didn't get into it until the second half, but it made a nice counterbalance to 'We Wish to Inform You.' 'Zippy' was amusing in its way, but I don't recommend it unless you're really interested in memoirs about life in small-town Indiana in the 60s and 70s. Now I'm on to 'The Blue Shoe' by Anne Lamott, whose non-fiction is hilarious. I've heard that her novels are not quite as entertaining, but I'm holding out hope.

And now back to MY problems

Well, I hardly feel like I can complain about my own life after yesterday's post, and yet I will anyway.

Right now I am struggling against falling into the classic Torpor of the Unemployed. This is what happens to you when you've been unemployed for going on 3.5 months now, have been buried under a pile of reject letters (more on this later), and at this point applying for another job holds about the same appeal as climbing Mt. Everest. I mean, it looks like a good idea in the abstract, but when you sit down and really think about it, is it really worth all the agony and the effort? Probably not. This is a bad place to be, because not only does it make me feel like I need to take a nap every day at 11 a.m., but now I feel like I don't even want to work anymore. I just want to continue borrowing money from relatives and wear down the ol' credit card, watch TV, read books, write my little blog and forget about that career thing. My only resistance against this disease is my volunteer work, which I am now doing four days a week but which makes me grumpy every day I have to go.

And as I mentioned earlier, the rejection notices aren't helping anything. So last week I found out I didn't get the sucky 6 hr/week Sunday position in BFE, didn't get another position I interviewed for, and apparently am not going to get called back for the LIAR position, either. I know we all could have predicted that one, but a small part of me still held out hope, especially since I sent them my one official transcript that was supposed to be for my own records. I think I'm going to ask them to mail it back to me. It's the least they can do.

I did go to the second round of interviews for the woman who wouldn't tell me her name and she was a little warmer this time, but apparently there is a third round of interviews and I don't know if I will be invited back or not. Yes, three rounds of interviews for a Librarian I position - seems absurd, doesn't it? One of the positions is part-time, did I mention that? (There are two available.) But now I'm at a point where even though the job pays for shite and I doubt I would even like it, I pretty much have to take whatever I'm offered. *Sigh* Well, at least I'm not in grave danger of being murdered with a machete (as long as I stay out of Northeast DC).

Shame

So I never did go back to talking about moral bankruptcy like I said I was going to. Basically, what I was going to say was that Bill Clinton, whom I have always liked and respected even though he can't keep his dick in his pants, is in fact a disgraceful coward. I've been reading more of 'We Wish to Inform You,' and I was shocked and saddened to learn that not only did the United States and Bill Clinton himself know exactly what was going on in Rwanda and refused to send troops or aid, but Madeleine Albright actively encouraged the United Nations to delay any action, until of course it was too late. The same Madeleine Albright whose grandparents were killed in the Jewish Holocaust. Disgraceful. By the time the genocide was over, at least 800,000 people had been killed in just a few months. Think about that number for a second - how many people died in the September 11th attacks? Around 2,000. The f*cking world mourned those 2,000 people for months. How many of us have even stopped to think about the Rwandan genocides, or how many of us even know the number of people killed? Our foreign policy, even our culture's general attitude toward the world, is so overtly racist it shames me. Even worse - there were UN peacekeeping troops on the ground in Rwanda at the time; they saw what was happening, and the general in charge (who happened to be Canadian, God bless him) asked the UN for permission to use force to stop the genocide. He was denied. DISGRACEFUL.

I hope that Clinton's newfound mission to eradicate AIDS and poverty in Africa will do something to cleanse his dirty, dirty soul.

Yeah, I'm back

Having bathed in my own perspiration at the zoo all afternoon (today being a particularly sticky, yucky day in DC) I am back with more lists because I know the masses love them. And in case anyone is curious, the zoo was neat - I especially enjoyed the apes and orangutans. I'm sorry, but anyone who watches them for any length of time cannot help but be confronted with the evidence of our ancestry. Unfortunately the pandas were inside because of the heat so we couldn't see them.

Anyway, herewith: Top 5 Movies I Want to See but for Some Reason Haven't Seen yet:

1. Sling Blade
2. The Godfather
3. Dead Man Walking
4. Maria Full of Grace
5. Trainspotting

Honorable mentions for the movies that exceeded expectations that I forgot about:

-Meet the Parents
-Spiderman II, which I expected to suck ass and turned out to be actually entertaining.

And since nobody asked, here's a list of the movies I've seen lately that disappointed me:

Top 5 Movies that Have Disappointed My Expectations Lately:

1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Tim Burton promised this wouldn't be a remake. Hello, remake city! Only redeeming quality: Johnny Depp, who is both devastatingly hot and one of the best actors today. Also I must admit that the Oompa-Loompa song-and-dance routines were pretty good.

2. Broken Flowers - I just didn't get it. Or maybe I got, but I just didn't care. Either way, I didn't like it.

3. The Wedding Crashers - Yeah, Vince Vaughan is the man and I wish I could marry him, but I can name about ten other movies that are exactly like this one. Too predictable.

4. The Amityville Horror - Was just stupid - more gross than scary. And please, let's stop with the creepy little girls who hide behind a curtain of long dark hair. Enough already. I wish a really good horror movie would come out again.

5. Bride and Prejudice - Really wanted to like this one, but it was so bland and boring. Not to mention the acting was TERRIBLE.

Ok, that's good for now. Bye.

More lists

Thanks to a spate of recent movies that have been disappointing to me, this next list will honor those movies that have exceeded expectations and thus deserve a mention on my blog.

Top 5 Movies that Have Exceeded My Expectations (in no particular order):

1. The Sixth Sense
2. There's Something About Mary
3. Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle (if you haven't seen this, you really should)
4. American Beauty
5. Shirley Valentine

Coming soon...more lists. I'm in a list-y kind of mood right now. Feel free to add your own lists in the comments, too. Be back soon, am going to zoo now.

Good times

I have been rather gloomy lately, so today is going to be Fun Post day. Have I got a treat for you--it's Listmania! The first list, and maybe the only list, depending on how I feel, will be Top Ten Things to Do When You're Unemployed: (Other than look for a job)

10. Count every penny in your bank account. Keep recounting to make sure you haven't missed any. When the number finally sinks in, stare at a wall for an hour. This is how you will be spending every Saturday night until you get a job.

9. Yell indiscriminately at everyone in your household for no reason. Yell at a few people on the street, too. It helps break the tension.

8. Sleep.

7. Start making lists of people you can beg money off of. If you can list more than three people, congratulations. People must like you. Either that or you know a lot of wealthy people. Again, congratulations.

6. Rummage through couch cushions, purses, backpacks, and any other place loose change can collect to scrounge up enough money for a Snickers. Try not to pay in pennies, though.

5. If you live in a city, see how far and/or long you can go on one bus/subway ticket.

4. Check your email obsessively every two or three minutes, since you never know when a friend or potential employer will take a few minutes out of their busy day to acknowledge your existence.

3. Stare at the wall some more. You have nothing better to do.

2. Flagellate yourself by thinking about all your friends who have the same background, education, and abilities, but who are all somehow better off than you. Wallow in self-pity while refusing to take any of the blame for your bad decision-making.

1. Start up a lame-ass blog that no one will read. Pretend what you have to say is Very Important.

One more thing

Have realized I really am an insufferable whiner. You have my permission to smack me the next time you see me.

Bankruptcy (Moral and Otherwise)

I'll start with the otherwise first. I looked at my account balance online last night (having long ago abandoned the practice of balancing it by hand - too depressing), and I realized that I am much closer to penniless than I had imagined. Hopefully I'll be able to mooch off of the BF for a little while longer; remember what I said a few posts ago about not being able to pay rent? Yeah, aint gonna happen. Which makes me feel very angry and cheated by society, and I'll tell you why.

When I went to a very expensive liberal arts college and took out tens of thousands of dollars in student loans, everyone assured us innocent youngsters that we were NOT throwing our money away; we were going to be so competitive in the marketplace with a degree from this completely obscure private university that people would be falling all over themselves to hand us well-paying jobs when we graduated. So, like a fool, I believed these money-grubbing liars. To my dismay, I found when I graduated that in fact I had virtually no skills, other than the ability to explicate Alexander Pope, and that there was no reason in hell why any employer would want to hire me. So I took some crap jobs because I was raised with my parents' work ethic of 'Find a job, pay the bills. If you like your job, bully for you. If not, at least you can pay the bills.' Anyway, I kept on working crap jobs, trying to earn enough to make ends meet and rarely succeeding. Finally I realized I would need to get some real skills if I ever wanted to get out of the crap-job cycle. So I went back to school for my MLIS, and even though I went the cheapest possible route (Canada), I still ended up with enormous debt. Incidentally, I never was able to earn enough to start paying off those undergrad loans, and it sickens me to think about the interest accruing on those.

So here I am: 28 years old, buried under a thousand miles of student loan and credit card debt, with still no job and no real achievements to speak of. Meanwhile the credit card debt is mounting as I sit here unemployed. The reason I am angry is because a) I'm American, and therefore I believe I am entitled to every priviledge under the sun and b) I feel like the whole economic system of our society is engineered to make rich people richer and poor people poorer. When I graduated with my bachelor's, I couldn't afford to take a cherry unpaid internship or live off my parents until something better came along, and my parents didn't have any neat connections to help me get a good job. So how was I supposed to gain any real experience or skills? I had to take jobs that required no skills, no education. And now I am again in the same situation - my degree, while it is in essence a passport into the library profession, has still not afforded me any real skills or experience, reflected by the fact that I can't get arrested in this town, much less hired.

As Virginia Woolf once said, to make it as a writer you need to have a room of your own. Meaning not only that you need to have a physical space of your own in which you can be creative, but you need the financial capability of owning property large enough so that you can have a room of your own, as well as the money to live off so you have time to be creative and don't need to work for your survival. And I think this same message can be applied to success in general: to be successful, you must have the financial means to wait for the right opportunities. I simply do not have the time to wait.

Yes, I probably should not have been an English major. That was my first mistake. Anyway, I felt I had a point to make here, but I think I've done more bitching than point-making and now I'm all agitated, so I think I'll stop here. I was going to say some stuff about moral bankruptcy, but I'll save that for later.

A post about appetizers, mainly

Tom and I went to Maryland today to see the so-called Eastern Shore, which is not really a 'shore' as I think of it, but rather Chesapeake Bay. We went to a quaint little old town called St. Michaels and I had crab cakes at The Crab Claw - apparently it's a must that you eat crab while on the Eastern Shore. Anyway, it was a fun and relaxing day away from the city - we even went on a river cruise and got to see not only the home where they shot the exteriors for 'The Wedding Crashers' but also sundry other $14 million homes along the river. Makes me feel real special to get to go back to my nice little suffocating shoebox apartment in the sky. Flipping rich bastards.

Anyway, after we went on the river cruise we needed to kill some time before heading back to DC so as to avoid rush-hour traffic, so we decided to stop off at a Ruby Tuesday. Since we were still full from lunch we just got appetizers, and tried to pick the safest ones on the menu, nachos and onion rings. No one can screw up nachos and onions rings, said we. I mean, I've had good nachos at Appleby's. Swear to God, Appleby's!

My Lord. Were those the worst nachos and onion rings I've ever had. Let me just say, cayenne pepper should never be allowed NEAR onion rings, and as for the nachos, just don't. Throw away the recipe, and start anew. Because those are not nachos; that is shit piled on tortilla chips.

I hope I don't get sued for this, but come on! Nachos and onion rings, people! How hard can it be?

But other than that, it was a good day.

This just in

OK, I just went over to the Lipstick Librarian blog, and now I have to have an "I'm a librarian, bitch!" pin and/or T-shirt. Just in case anyone was thinking of buying me a present.

Ah, my good friend Bitterness

I do NOT recommend going on three interviews in one week, especially not for three days in a row. This week was horrible - by Friday I was completely drained and fed up with the whole enterprise. I got my first job offer yesterday, but since they're only willing to pay $26k and want a commitment of six months to a year, they can keep their stinkin' job. The only reason I applied for it in the first place was so maybe I could work part-time until something better came through. So that interview was a colossal waste of time.

Then I had to go to a meeting for my volunteer work, which was another colossal waste of time - lasted about an hour longer than it needed to, and made me get home too late to go to my gym class. Also, I met my co-volunteer who turned out to be a total dildo and learned that the wanky spreadsheet we're supposed to be using for the project hasn't been made yet, so guess who's doing that? Good ol' me. I just figured the other guy was way too stupid to do anything right.

I also heard back from my Mary Thelen interview and turns out they want me to come in for a second round. I didn't blog about this one, but I did not get a very good feel from the woman who interviewed me. And a couple things insulted me about her process: a)she made me fill out an application form at the beginning of the interview, which basically repeated everything in my resume and made me feel like I was applying for a minimum wage job; b)once I had filled it out, she sat down and flipped through it for about five minutes, as though it was going to reveal something new about me (or as though she needed to remind herself who I was); c) the damn job only pays in the low 30s; d)the next round consists of 'skills testing' to make sure I haven't lied on my resume.

Rage building, building...

Another Day in the Trenches

Lately I’ve been wondering if everyone thinks I’m a whiner. No doubt some people think I’m a whiner, but does everybody? A couple of weeks ago I had dinner with an old college friend, and I swear I heard her call me a wimp. I think she said, “One year is a long time if you’re a wimp,” in reference to my having said that I had looked into becoming an x-ray technologist at one point, but decided not to since the program was a year long, and I had already decided to get my MLIS in two years’ time. Anyway, that’s probably not what she said but I couldn’t figure out what else it could have been. What sounds like 'wimp' and makes sense in that context? Nothing that I can think of. Maybe she only said it to get back at me for saying that I have to wear socks and tennis shoes and look like a retard when I go anywhere, only to remember as I was saying it that she was wearing socks and tennis shoes [with shorts]. I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing me complain about how much I hate DC, though, which is probably why none of my friends are emailing me anymore.

So, to get off the whining tanget, I'm going to talk about something else today. Since I am supposedly a librarian, it seems appropriate to talk about books. I just got done reading 'The Feminine Mystique' by Betty Friedan, for the Banned Books Club that I just joined (we read banned books, we don't ban them ourselves). In some ways it was predictable; obviously I had known that the 50s and 60s were a very repressive period for women. What I didn't realize was how repressive it was, nor how much of a backslide these two decades were for feminism in general. I mean, I knew the first feminist movement had taken place in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, but I guess I had figured that women were slowly gaining rights from the time they got the vote until now. Not so, apparently. Friedan puts forth some pretty good theories and some appalling statistics (a huge jump in the number of post-World War II women who were getting married in their teens, as opposed to women in the 1930s and early 40s), but she's way off regarding other things like homosexuality. But you have to give her credit because this book was really one of the main catalysts for the feminist movement in the 60s and 70s, and she wrote it while being a 'housewife.'

Now I've moved on to another really uplifting book, 'We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families,' by Philip Gourevitch. It's about the Rwandan genocide - fun stuff! However, it's not as depressing as you would think (that sounds really insensitive, I know); it's very well-written and I highly recommend it so far. Interesting tidbits about France in there as well - I'm not anti-France, but it proves Americans aren't the only f*ckers in the world. It's a good wake-up call for self-absorbed people like me.

Anyone got any other recommendations as for good reading? As soon as I finish this book I'm headed back to fiction for awhile, although I've also been wanting to read Sarah Vowell's stuff.

P.S. The interview yesterday - very nice and informal. Too bad it took an hour and 40 minutes to get there. The Mary Thelen interview is this afternoon; really looking forward to that one.

Fear and Loathing in Arlington

I'm in a bad mood today because I have an interview this afternoon in Alexandria, and it's going to be a pain in the ass to get to. I've decided to take public transportation rather than drive, which means leaving my house at 3:00 pm to insure getting to the interview on time at 5:00 pm. I have to take the subway and change trains twice, then I have to take a bus from the subway to the library, which only leaves every half hour and takes a half hour to arrive at the library. I could drive, but given the time of day and the route I would have to take, which appears to be fraught with potential for getting lost, I can't really stomach that option. Also, I might as well admit it, I have a driving phobia. I am Stephanie, and I fear driving. Actually I only fear city driving, but it has become somewhat of a crippling illness of late, not to mention a bone of contention between the BF and I. Am I the only one? I never drove at all during my whole second year in Vancouver, yet I did not have problems getting anywhere. I hate this flipping country.

Now I feel slightly better. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the worst part of this whole expedition. I am interviewing for a SIX HOUR A WEEK position. Why do I even bother, you say? I don't know.

I'm also pissy because I volunteered to do some cataloging for a non-profit in my free time, only to find out the whole thing is very disorganized and un-library like, but now I'm committed. We are going to be cataloging (get this) in an Excel spreadsheet until they decide what kind of software they want to buy. Irritation level=10. By the way, anyone have a spare copy of AACR2 you want to lend me? Didn't think so.

OK, one last thing - I changed my settings so that anyone can post comments, not just registered users. And I know I promised that the whole blog would not just be one long rant about finding a job, so I'll try to be cheerier from now on. Over and out.

A Day for Rejoicing

No, I didn't get a job. But I did get my computer in the mail, and I am so happy I could weep. My files, my lovely files! I never thought I would be so happy to see them. This means that I can now start using my new LCD monitor that I got as a grad present from my BF. And it means that I can finally stop using the hand-me-down piece of crap laptop that has been my only means of communication with the outside world for the past three months. It's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. [For the uninformed, my computer was being held hostage by my BF's parents. Long story.]

In other news, I just realized that I spelled the word 'genius' wrong in my first post. Perhaps this is why I don't get more job offers.

But now I'm gonna bring the room down for a minute. Today has been a stressful day, not because I've had any shite interviews or more people calling me a liar, but because I now realize I'm going to have to make some tough decisions pretty soon. You see, I've been applying not only to full-time salaried dream jobs, but also crap jobs to pay the bills. But if I get one of those crap jobs, the dilemma then becomes: should I take it so that I no longer have to suffer in poverty (well, I'll still be in poverty, but perhaps slightly less poverty), and thus ruin my chances of being able to interview for anything else? Or should I hold out for something better, with the knowledge that I may be holding out for quite some time and may not in fact be able to make my next rent payment? What is a girl to do?

Just another note from the Annals of the Unemployed. I'd like to write more tonight, but I have to get up reasonably early tomorrow, so I'm off to bed.

First Post Ever

I don't know if librarians can technically be hacks, but if they can then I am one. You see, I just graduated from library school in May and have since moved from Vancouver, British Columbia,--aka 'Paradise'-- to Arlington, Virginia, and am now in the always-degrading position of searching for employment. To me, this process is akin to prying out my eyeballs with a rusty fork, and thus I have formed a blog to cry about it like a little baby.

The title of the blog also refers to the fact that sometimes, when I'm in the appropriate mood, I fancy myself a writer (I was a creative writing major back in my undergrad days, so it's not just all in my head). So in addition to this being a space where I can bitch and moan about the indignities of the unemployed, it's also supposed to help spur my creative genious. Ha.

To start things off, one of the first items I'd like to complain about is the soul-sucking, vomit-inducing enterprise known as 'the interview.' I had two of them last week, and interestingly enough, the one that went the best was the one where I was more or less accused of being a liar right in the middle of the interview. It started out all lovely, one of the best interviews I'd ever had, with six funny and relaxed women just sitting around chatting about their jobs. Then one of them made a reference to the many courses I have taken in archives. Knowing myself as I do, I know that I have only taken two courses in archives, and asked the woman to which courses she was referring (she had been reading my course list from my online portfolio). Meanwhile, I had forgotten that some of the courses at my school were cross-listed (there being two master's programs in the school, one for libraries and a separate one for archives), which means that the courses have 'and archives' attached to the end of the title, such as 'Management of Libraries and Archives.' [Basically it's a meaningless gesture made to help the archival students at the school feel included, even though there's essentially no material regarding archives in any of those courses.]

Anyway, as soon as I registered puzzlement and asked the woman to explain, everyone in the room froze. Obviously they were all wondering how I could have forgotten about courses I had taken; the word LIAR may as well have been chiseled across my forehead. When she read out the titles of the courses to which she was referring I suddenly understood the problem and immediately tried to explain, but of course no one in this country understands the concept of a separate archival master's degree and I knew it was hopeless. So the next thing out of the library director's mouth is, 'Do you have any old professors that we could contact, or a transcript you could give us?' Then, immediately following this, 'You did graduate, didn't you?' Humiliations galore!

The interview the next day went marginally better, but I didn't really want that job so it doesn't matter. This morning I got a call for an interview at another library; the woman at the other end of the line never introduced herself, and when I asked who the interview was going to be with, she said it was going to be with her. The name Mary S. Thelen was in the job announcement and therefore I assumed Mary Thelen was the name of the library director. I had even began my cover letter with 'Dear Ms. Thelen.' So, still searching for a proper name, I asked, 'Are you Mary Thelen?' Silent pause. Then, 'Mary Thelen is the name of the library. I am Somebody Somebody.'

Hello, how am I supposed to know that when you don't put it in the job announcement and don't introduce yourself over the telephone? So that interview is bound to suck as well. Rest assured, I'll keep you posted.