Good times

I have been rather gloomy lately, so today is going to be Fun Post day. Have I got a treat for you--it's Listmania! The first list, and maybe the only list, depending on how I feel, will be Top Ten Things to Do When You're Unemployed: (Other than look for a job)

10. Count every penny in your bank account. Keep recounting to make sure you haven't missed any. When the number finally sinks in, stare at a wall for an hour. This is how you will be spending every Saturday night until you get a job.

9. Yell indiscriminately at everyone in your household for no reason. Yell at a few people on the street, too. It helps break the tension.

8. Sleep.

7. Start making lists of people you can beg money off of. If you can list more than three people, congratulations. People must like you. Either that or you know a lot of wealthy people. Again, congratulations.

6. Rummage through couch cushions, purses, backpacks, and any other place loose change can collect to scrounge up enough money for a Snickers. Try not to pay in pennies, though.

5. If you live in a city, see how far and/or long you can go on one bus/subway ticket.

4. Check your email obsessively every two or three minutes, since you never know when a friend or potential employer will take a few minutes out of their busy day to acknowledge your existence.

3. Stare at the wall some more. You have nothing better to do.

2. Flagellate yourself by thinking about all your friends who have the same background, education, and abilities, but who are all somehow better off than you. Wallow in self-pity while refusing to take any of the blame for your bad decision-making.

1. Start up a lame-ass blog that no one will read. Pretend what you have to say is Very Important.