I've been thinking a lot lately for some reason about how much better Vancouver is than the rest of the world. Probably because I moved from there to the Worst Place on Earth, and since then have been reevaluating my decision making skills and sanity. So, as per usual, I've compiled a top ten list of reasons why Vancouver is better than everywhere else, because I'm too riddled with ADHD and caffeine to write in coherent paragraphs.
Top Ten Ways in Which Vancouver Rocks
1. The mere existence of Stanley Park. The thought of it fills me at first with peace, just knowing it's out there in the world, and then with rage, knowing it exists and that I cannot enjoy it, nor anything like it, here in Urban Monuments and Office Buildings and Sidewalks and All the Brick You Can Handle.
2. English Bay. Water is good. Water is refreshing. It is nice to look at blue, blue water. Water equals life. Asphalt, on the other hand, equals death. So does the Potomac River, for that matter, so don't even go there.
3. It has a soul. Meaning, you can go to Vancouver and know you are in Vancouver because it has a certain aura, a certain culture. Also, everyone has a Canadian accent. Unless they have an accent from, say, India or Greece or France or China.
4. Good food at reasonable prices. I could afford to eat well in Vancouver (maybe a little too well), and there were many lovely restaurants within an easy distance of my apartment. Here I can afford only a handful of restaurants and the food quality ranges from "meh" to "I'd rather eat a can of soup at home." Even the high-priced ones don't really live up to Vancouver standards. We don't eat out a whole lot anymore.
5. Fruits and vegetables and bread, oh my! Fresh markets. Bakeries. We don't have these things here. We have Safeway and Whole Foods ("Choices" for hippies with an inheritance), if you're lucky. Oh, but not in walking distance. The amount of money we spend on wilty, half-dead produce in a week would make your hair curl. And forget about fresh bread. Just wipe it from your mind. It doesn't exist.
6. A city built with the option in mind of (gasp!) actually walking for here to there. Americans, as we all know, are lazy, obese bastards. No one walks anywhere if they have the money to own a car, thus the sidewalks here are narrow, crumbling, and mostly non-existent. If you choose to walk, you run the risk of getting mowed down by a motorist every time you cross the street.
7. People there, in general, are friendly and easy going. People here, since they are always in a mad rush to get from one place to another (and I don't discount myself from this), are pushy pushy pushy. In the grocery store, people in line stand so close to one another that the person behind you could easily memorize your PIN as you swipe your debit card. There is no such thing as a "personal bubble" here, or more to the point, respectful distance.
8. It's in Canada. Land of gay marriage, universal health care, and abortions as far as the eye can see.
9. The government, presumably, will not tap your phone nor really give a crap whether or not you are a terrorist.
10. Beaches. Vancouver has awesome beaches, and it's not even on the ocean. If there is anything more perfect than lying on the beach, gazing at the azure blue sky against the backdrop of green mountain tops on a completely cloudless August afternoon, I don't know what it is.
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