Why my parents = headache + ulcer

As I mentioned in my last post, my parents came to visit this weekend. A good time was had by all, especially me, especially the part where my mom told me she sincerely believes that I'm going to hell because a) I'm living in sin with the BF (and have been for several years; I had assumed she was over it by now) and b) I don't believe in God. After a few days of being incredibly hurt by the fact that my own mother would both think this about her child, who so far has not done anything particularly spawn-of-satanish, and then tell said child of her fervent belief of child's imminent damnation, I have gotten enough distance to find the humor in the situation. Ha ha. Well, if my mother is correct, I guess I'll probably see her there for being a judgmental bitch. Ha ha.

Anyway, let's move on. I know you all love memes as much as I do, so I thought I'd do another one for you all that I came across this morning.

A-B-C Meme

Accent: West-coastish. If that can be called an accent. I guess its most distinctive characteristic is its lack of distinctive characteristics. I like to think that I sometimes have a wee bit of a Canadian accent, but I know in my heart that I don't.

Booze: Sadly, I really enjoy me a Smirnoff Ice, although it isn't as popular out here. A rum-and-coke comes in at a distant second. Although lately I've been craving margaritas.

Chore I Hate: Cleaning the effing bathroom. Unfortunately it's something I make myself do weekly, because not cleaning the bathroom is too disgusting to contemplate. The only reason I dislike it so much is that the other person I live with claims they are "too busy" to do it, thus I must do it myself Every. Single. Bloody. Week.

Dogs/Cats: I have one cat named Easy (see sidebar). She is 13, and her hobbies include hammering, looking out the window, and meowing at the top of her lungs every night the minute I fall asleep.

Essential electronics: My computer. Obviously.

Favorite perfume: I like the smell of Chanel No. 5, but since that's a little out of my tax bracket, I pretty much just stick with Tommy Girl.

Gold/silver: I have one white gold chain. I am gem- and precious metal-poor. And also just plain poor, too.

Hometown: I reluctantly admit it is Boise, Idaho. It's OK if you laugh a little.

Insomnia: No, thank you. Haha. Yes, I have it all the time these days, which really sucks because historically I am not a troubled sleeper.

Job title: My "title" is Library Specialist. However, in reality I am but a lowly library assistant, with the salary to prove it.

Kids: No, thank you.

Living arrangements: Piddly dungeon of a one bedroom apartment in Arlington, which I share with my BF and cat.

Most admired trait: I don't know if this is supposed to be a trait most admired in myself or other people. I guess for both I would have to say a sense of humor, which I seem to be lacking more and more these days.

Number of sexual partners: As though I would say. However, I will tell you that it's a prime number.

Overnight hospital stays: None so far.

Phobias: Driving, getting hit by a car, and spiders.

Quote: "Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling." If you don't know what that's from, I don't think I care to be associated with you anymore. (Kidding. Sort of.)

Religion: None. Was raised Catholic. If I had a shred of faith left, I would still be Catholic.

Siblings: An older brother and older sister.

Time I usually wake up: 7:00 on days I go to the gym; 7:30 on non-gym days.

Unusual talent: None that I am aware of. I don't think I have any usual talents, either.

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Cucumbers. They taste like a fat lot of nothing, with maybe some talcum powder mixed in.

Worst habit: Being a gigantic pessimist, which apparently I get from my mother. Funny story: my mom had been going on and on about how the end times are coming, judgment day is near, I'm going to hell, yada yada yada. A little while later I said something about how I probably won't get a better paying job within the next year, and my mom says, "Oh, don't be such a pessimist!"

X-rays: I've had them for my teeth. That's pretty much it. I have incredibly durable bones.

Yummy foods I make: I can whip up a mean beef stew, and I make incredible no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies (which I realize need a sexier name).

Zodiac sign: Aquarius. Unfortunately I exhibit none of the usual Aquarius characteristics like artsy-fartsyness, a carefree spirit, and a go-my-own-way attitude, but rather am militaristic in my slavish obedience to rules, am anal retentive, and am decidedly untalented in any artistic field of endeavor.

There. I'm tired. And by the way, no word yet on the private school. Apparently hell's temperatures are well away from freezing at this point.