Oh the pain, the hideous pain

Where to begin my tale of woe?

It would seem that I am doomed to live a life mired in physical agony. Obviously I am exaggerating and I realize that many people live with chronic pain much worse than mine, but just indulge me for the sake of this post.

So most of you, sadly, know about all the problems with my legs, because I've chronicled them exhaustively here. Well, the problem in my hip/pelvis (in medical speak, my right sacroiliac region) has only gotten worse as the months have passed, to the point where it was almost too painful to do anything more active than sitting on my ass. So I went back to my doctor, even though I said I wasn't going to, because he's on the metro line and it's too hard to get into doctors around here if you're a new patient, so I went ahead and went back to the same guy. Anyway, he wanted me to get a steroid injection into my sacroiliac joint, and I thought this was a good idea, too, since I was tired of the pain and just wanted to get it over with.

So after a week and a half of back-and-forth with my doctor's office trying to figure out a stupid insurance detail, I finally got an appointment for yesterday morning to have the damn injection. First, the morning started off with me taking a metro train and two busses to get out to the hospital where fancy radiologist doctor gives out said injections. Then I wandered around the hospital complex for about 20 minutes trying to figure out where the hell I was supposed to go. I finally get there, have to do a bunch more waiting, and then I get to take off all my clothes, don a hospital gown, lie face down on the MRI table, and bare my naked ass to a roomful of male doctors and technicians for about 40 minutes while they figure out where to stick me. So it was a morning full of fun.

And here's how they figure out where to cause the maximum amount of pain--they take a 6-inch long needle, poke it into my bare ass, which is by the way hanging out for every male in the vicinity (about 5 or 6 of them) to see, and move me, verrrrry slowly, into and out of the MRI machine. Then they come back, move the needle approximately .2 mm to the left, and do the whole thing over again. They repeat this procedure two or three more times, then finally give me the injection. And have I mentioned that my ass, which is bare, is still naked and hanging out? To be perfectly honest, what hurt the most was the injection of anesthetic, so the pain from the actual injection of steroids and antibiotic were not as excruciating as I had feared--it was nothing compared to my latest root canal--but still, no walk in the park, either.

After the stabbing, I try to untangle myself from the sheets and hospital gown, which they have hiked up practically over my head, and they keep trying to barge in on me to see if I can walk OK, since apparently there was a chance that the local anesthetic would make my leg and foot numb, thus making me fall flat on my face. Meanwhile, my bare naked ass is still all over the place. (It turned out I could walk just fine, and in fact walked the mile from the hospital to the second bus, thus bypassing having to wait for the first bus.)

*Sigh*

The worst part is, I don't yet feel a huge relief from the pain, but it sure as hell better kick in, because I am not going through that shit again. Unless I can be guaranteed a roomful of female technicians and a female doctor this time.

[I guess I should note that, other than stabbing my ass repeatedly with a six-inch needle, the technicians and doctor were very nice, and were very concerned that I was there by myself and would have to *gasp* take public transportation "home," i.e. work.]

In other, more uplifting news, BF and I went to see Pretty Girls Make Graves on Sunday night, which was hugely enjoyable, except for the fact that it was Sunday and thus we both had to work the next day. Unfortunately it's their last tour, but they're playing their final show in Seattle on June 9th, so catch them if you can. I had never seen the band before, and interestingly, only the lead singer and keyboardist were girls. Who knew.

Anyway, the BF and I are headed to NYC tomorrow for the long Memorial Day weekend, so stay tuned for forthcoming NYC blog fodder. Hopefully fodder of the non-mugging variety. Please, let there be no mugging fodder.