Things I will miss about DC

Number one. Nuuuuumberrr one..........*chirping of crickets*

Kidding. Of course there are things I will miss, even though today I am particularly grumpy at the metro (subway system) for making me a half-hour late to work, a half-hour which I will have to take out of my VERY OWN personal sick leave, which is by the way unacceptable, but since I'm pretty sure no one who reads this blog works for metro, nevermind.

Things I Will (Mostly) Miss About DC When I Am Gone, Which Will Be Soon

1. The subway (most of the time - the rest of the time metro can eat shit and die)

2. Only having to drive a car once a week, to get groceries at Safeway

3. Having the option, not that I ever exercise it, to hear any type of live music or go to any club I get a hankering for any night of the week (and as a corollary: to have said venue be lively and full of people on any night)

4. Being in walking-distance to a number of decent bars

5. The plethora of cabs, and the ability to hail cabs on the street from most places I would ever venture, and that the cabs are mostly reasonably-priced

6. Any type of museum I could imagine within a short subway ride, totally free of charge and open every day but Christmas

7. Cool fireworks

8. Pretty much any major thing that happens in the country, I hear it first (OK, not me specifically, but the news media out here)

9. Intellectual vibrancy, and the vast amount of people who are interested in and pay attention to current events (usually because it's their job to do that, but whatever)

10. Access to nationally-renowned cultural stuff, like Broadway plays, major musical acts, author talks, etc.

11. The E-Street Cinema, purveyor of indie movies, beer, wine, espresso, brownies--things you can't get at a regular old AMC theatre--in a comfortable, well-run establishment. The Grand Theatre in Tacoma (which is neither grand nor a theatre, discuss) is not even comparable.

So now, to be fair, I must also list out the things I will NOT miss.

Things I Will Not Miss About DC When I Am Gone, Which Will Be Soon

1. The assholes. Oh my god, the huge number of assholes I encounter on a daily basis (I am probably one of them, but I don't care.)

2. Have I ever mentioned how much the humidity sucks here? I'm not sure that I have. Well, the humidity, it is SO BAD and it SUCKS.

3. The cost of living. If I told you how much money I pay to rent a smallish one-bedroom apartment (which by the way does not include utilities of any sort), you would cry. You would probably also slap me for being such a sucker.

4. Almost getting run over by ASSHOLES every single time I venture across the street. In crosswalks. With the walk-light clearly in my favor. Every. Single. Time.

5. The lack of fruit-and-vegetable markets and bakeries, which I'm sorry to say are also lacking in the Tacoma/Seattle area. Let's all take a cue from Vancouver shall we? And also, the mere fact that all berries in this city are sold in tiny little packages in grocery stores for $5.00 a half-pint. RIDICULOUS.

6. The very tiny percentage of restaurants that offer tasty food at reasonable prices.

7. The pretentiousness. Guess what? Not every one here gets paid a lot of money, so why pretend like you do? Why is shopping at Marshall's made to seem so shameful? I like Marshall's. I proudly shop at Marshall's. (Marshall's is the same as Ross).

8. There is no natural beauty. I mean, there are green pockets here and there, but you have to drive over an hour to see any sort of view, and same goes for mountains or water--they require hours of driving to get to. Meh. I'd rather step out my front door and see those things, thanks.

9. There are many, many Republicans. And they pop up where you least expect them. Think your co-worker is a reasonable person with a progressive outlook on global warming and gay marriage? Think again.

10. The great yawning chasm between rich and poor, white-collar upper class-mummy-and-daddy-sent-me-to-an-elite-prep-school-and-pulled-
strings-to-get-me-into-Harvard-and-then-they-supported-me-while-I
-took-an-unpaid-internship-and-now-I-have-a-high-paying-job-at-the-
age-of-24 types versus people who work one or sometimes two or three mediocre jobs just to pay the bills and who struggle every month just to make ends meet types. Seriously, the disparity seems so much larger here between those who've never lived a day in their life where they actually worried about making it to the next paycheck and those who either fail to make ends meet or are very close to failing. It's shocking to me. I've never encountered so many extremely wealthy people or extremely impoverished people in one vicinity before in my life.