Unsurprising news

Well, well. Wellity wellity wellity. Guess what. I didn't get the job I didn't think I was going to get! And now that it's over with and there's no chance in hell I will ever set foot in that place again, I think I can dispense with all the secrecy and come out and say that the place where I interviewed last week (you know, for the job I didn't get) was at the Senate library. Yes, the United States of America Senate. That one. I did not get the job there. And I think it's offically unanimous - I suck a big fatty! (Not literally, of course.) But oh well. Life goes on. I'm sure there will be many other jobs I will not get in the future, and some of them will probably also be jobs for which I am technically overqualified, and yet I will still not get them. And that's fine. Really, I'm fine with that. Yay for not getting jobs! In fact, there are very few things in life, I find, that are more satisfying than NOT getting a job. You know what I think is overrated? Financial stability. Financial stability never got anyone anywhere. So really, I should be thanking my lucky stars that I didn't get this job, because then I would be financially stable, and if that happened, what would I have left to worry about? Nothing, that's what! And then what would I do with all my free time? I would become one of those vacuous people you see driving safe, reliable cars, clogging the freeways and belching toxins into the air, on my way to some cultural activity such as a play or concert, supporting the arts in that disgusting, bourgeois, not-a-care-in-the-world manner they have. I would start wearing hip, fashionable clothes, instead of the threadbare togs I currently own, and become another mindless drone of the fashion mafia. Most gruesome of all, I would start putting money towards that piteous symbol of middle-class suburbia: the retirement fund. Ugh. It's better this way, it really is.