Baby Got Back(Fat)

OK. Here's the deal: I'm going to lose 15 pounds by June 1st. Now, don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a weight loss blog (and believe me, they exist), but rather I am just making this announcement public so that I can be accountable to myself for progress towards my goal. How does making my weight loss goal public information make me accountable, you ask? Well, for starters, if I fall off the wagon and somebody says to me, "Hey, lost any weight yet?" it will shame me into getting back on track (or perhaps just make me hurt you, but whatever). And if anyone sees me eating something like a bag of Chee-tohs, you can frown at me disapprovingly and castigate me with your eyes. Not that it will do any good, but go ahead and try if it makes you feel morally superior.

See, the thing is, it's long been my goal to lose about 20-30 pounds, thus putting me squarely at my undergraduate--and total babe-magnet--weight (pause here for guffawing). Since I moved to Crapville, aka Our Nation's Capital, I've lost about ten pounds, but then, as usual, I plateaued and grew complacent, and haven't lost any more weight. The next thing that generally happens is that my weight will gradually climb up again, until I become so disgusted with myself that I clamp down on the eating and the not-exercising and the french-fry inhaling marathon until I lose ten pounds again. And so the cycle continues. BUT, this time I am determined for once and for all to lose the final fifteen pounds and keep them off forever. So there you have it, in black and white. I WILL LOSE 15 POUNDS BY JUNE 1.

Which reminds me, I watched this grotesque TV show last night on Discovery Health about a morbidly obese man who weighed 759 pounds. It was really gross and very, very sad - it wasn't like this guy had a thyroid condition or anything; he just really, really enjoyed himself some good eatin'. I mean the guy looked like Jabba the Hut for reals, and he got so fat that he basically could not even move anymore - he had to be put in a long-term care facility where, try as they might to help the poor guy lose weight, he eventually died. I kept wondering a) how do you let yourself get to that point? (and immediately changed my mind about that bowl of ice cream I had planned on eating) and b) how do you let someone you love get to that point? (he was married). And also, how do you not seek help from someone at oh, say, 500 pounds, and not plead for some weight-loss pills or a stomach staple or SOMETHING? Of course he was poor, not that educated, and probably didn't have much health insurance to speak of, but still. My guess is the only reason his doctors at the facility didn't recommend a gastric bypass surgery was that his body wouldn't have been able to handle it. The creepiest thing of all was that, though I felt mortified for this guy to have his misery video-taped for mass consumption and I was disgusted by what I saw, I was glued to the TV. I kept thinking, "How dare they put this on television for viewers to gawk at mercilessly? Doesn't this guy and his family have enough problems without putting them on display to the world?" And yet I could not change the channel. But I really, really wanted him to lose weight and return to some semblance of a normal life, and thinking to myself, "It's TV! Of course he'll pull through; they wouldn't show it if he didn't!" I was astounded to learn that after a short while in the facility he died from a blood infection because his body was just too weak to fight it.

The moral of this story, boys and girls, is seek out some help BEFORE you get to the 759-pound mark. So yeah, I'm losing 15 pounds, everyone.

Oh, you know you want it

I've been racking my brain all morning (so about three hours), for a good topic to write about today but sadly, nothing has really come to mind other than to name my picks for the Oscars. Now, you had to know this was coming so it's no use complaining. But of course, when one makes these kind of predictions, there is always the pull between naming who we really WANT to win, and naming who we think will ACTUALLY win (I'm using the royal 'we' here). So I think I'll make up two lists--one for who I want, and one for who will really get it. If my predictions are right on the second list, someone owes me a Coke.

P.S. I don't predict the meaningless catagories like Best Animated Short. As if I care.

Oscar Picks 2006 - If We Lived in a Perfect World

Best Picture: Crash
BF and I had a discussion about this, and my argument went that the two most socially important movies of the year, out of those nominated, were Crash and Munich. And I'm speaking of globally important, not just important to Americans. Thus my elimination of Brokeback Mountain. While I think that is a lovely and haunting film, and very important and ground-breaking for stupid Americans who can't seem to understand that homosexuals might just be humans like you and I, I personally didn't come away from the film feeling like my opinions had changed on anything or that anything in the movie really made me take stock of my values and preconceived notions of the world (but then I'm a Commie bleeding heart liberal, so I realize it's just me). However, Crash and Munich did all of the above for me. And yet, being the stupid American that I am, Crash spoke to me a bit more than Munich, so I have picked Crash as best picture.

Best Directing: Ang Lee
I know the logical choice here would have been Paul Haggis for Crash, but you really have to give Ang Lee, a Chinese man from Hong Kong, props for capturing the essence of western/cowboy culture to a T.

Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman and Heath Ledger
I said this is if we lived in a perfect world. I can't choose between the two - they were both excellent in their own way.

Best Supporting Actor: Matt Dillon
Again, for Crash. The man just deserves some recognition.

Best Actress: I can't really vote in this one because I haven't seen all the movies, but I'd like to see Felicity Huffman win.

Best Supporting Actress: Amy Adams
She was hilarious, sweet, and stupid without being over the top.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Have only read In Cold Blood, so I can't really vote here.

Best Original Screenplay: Crash

Oscar Picks 2006 - Reality

Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain
I think it's one of the few all voters will have seen, plus it's gotten the most press and most awards thus far.

Best Director: Ang Lee
They rarely give these two awards to different films.

Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman
This was a toughie - I just deleted my first answer (Heath). But Hoffman's gotten a lot of accolades, and Capote is really his movie.

Best Supporting Actor: Paul Giamatti
Again, another toughie - I think Matt Dillon also has a chance, but Giamatti has a slight edge since many think he was snubbed for Sideways last year. Jake Gyllenhaal might be able to slip in as well, hard to say.

Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon
I think it's between Reese and Felicity Huffman, but I don't think as many voters will have seen Transamerica. Keira Knightley is too young, Charlize Theron just won a couple years ago, and Judi Dench has been awarded before (plus has anyone actually seen Mrs. Henderson Presents? I didn't think so).

Best Supporting Actress: Michelle Williams
I think Brokeback Mountain just has a lot of steam, plus she did a good job.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain, since it will sweep everything.

Best Original Screenplay: Crash

So everybody watch next Sunday and be prepared to laud me for my keen intuition and insight.

Hope springs eternal

Last week was kind of a downer, and for that, my two-and-a-half readers, I apologize. I made the dreaded return-phone-call yesterday, and the conversation followed my imagined script to an almost creepy degree. But then, how many different directions can something like that go? "We didn't like you, you're a loser, but good luck with your job search!"

Alas, when one door shuts another door opens, to be completely original. Yesterday afternoon I received an invitation to interview for a much better LIBRARIAN position, something I had applied for back in December and pretty much written off by this late date. I'm trying to keep my expectations low this time, and will just look at this interview as another step in the process towards achieving the Perfect Interview, and thus, in time, landing the Perfect Job. (Easier said than done when the base salary for this position is $11,000 more than I currently earn, but I'm really going to try hard this time out not to spend my new salary in my head before I actually go to the interview.)

So I joined the ranks of Technorati recently, only to learn that absolutely no one on the planet currently links to my blog. But I realize that what I have to say is of interest to...well, pretty much nobody, which is fine because it's just for me anyway, right? Right. But from reading other blogs, which I seem to do a lot of these days, I find that I'm missing out on something wonderful and extraordinary called the "meme." I assume this is pronounced "me, me", as in "it's all about me," and what is supposed to happen is other bloggers are supposed to "tag" you, and thus force you to waste valuable blog space answering inane questions about yourself. It's like those emails people used to send out with a long list of questions like, "What is under your bed right now?" and you were supposed to fill it out and send it to all your friends. I find that these irritate most people who have full and interesting lives, but as I am self-absorbed and generally bored off my ass, I love them. No one has tagged me for a meme of course, but I'm going to do one anyway for your reading pleasure.

Ahem.

What were you doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago I was 19 years old. That is fricking unbelievable. I was a freshman in college, and at about this time I would have been finishing up winter term at Southern Oregon University in Ashland, Oregon, and preparing to study abroad in Germany. I was terrified, because I didn't actually want to go to Germany. I had wanted to study in London, truth be told, but when I came home from Christmas vacation and handed the brochures to my parents, the German program was the one they gave me permission to do (probably because it was cheaper). Oy vey. Those three months in Germany were probably the single most mind-opening, innocence-trashing, grow-upping experience I could have had. It was my first time travelling outside of the United States, to a country whose language I had only the vaguest grasp of, and I was a very sheltered, painfully shy and naive girl going off by herself into the big bad world.

What were you doing one year ago?
One year ago I was looking forward to my graduation from library school...hard to believe it's been almost a year now. I was suffering through Subject Cataloging (huge debacle involving a change of instructors mid-way through the course), as well as Database Design (completely over my head), and Advanced Information Retrieval (that one was a cake walk, however). As of about April 7, it will be exactly one year since I started my post-graduation job search.

Five Snacks You Enjoy
Any fried potato product
Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream
Chocolate covered pretzels
Dried cranberries (when I'm being "good")
Cheez-Its

Five Songs to Which You Know the Lyrics
In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
Possession by Sarah McLachlan
Linger by The Cranberries
Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor
Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes

Five Things You Would Do if You Were a Millionaire
Pay off my student loans and credit card
Start up a scholarship fund for creative writing majors at my alma mater
Buy a house in Vancouver
Buy a house on the Oregon coast
Become a Canadian citizen

Five Bad Habits
Whining incessantly about my life
Losing my temper over inconsequential things
Emotional eating
Becoming so bored at work that I forget I'm there to do a job
Not writing

If anybody reading this actually has a blog, consider yourself tagged.

The big black hole of despair, and other uninteresting musings

Is it wrong of me to be grumpy because the person who interviewed me for the Job I Did Not Get called this afternoon and left a message for ME to call HIM back? What is that conversation going to be like? (BTW, I found out I did not get the job through both a process of elimination and through a connection who works at the library who told me point blank that I did not get the job. The call I received today was supposed to be the formal rejection.) First of all, only once in my ten months of job searching has anyone ever made a personal phone call to reject me, and that was only because they wanted to ask if I would like to be considered for the same position at other libraries in the system (it was that lame 6 hours-a-week-on-Sundays job). Now, I know almost certainly for a fact that this man will not be asking me if I'm interested in another position.

So...do I actually need to call this guy back so he can tell me I didn't get the job? What is the protocol here? How awkward is that going to be? Here's what I think the call will sound like:

ME: Hi, this is So and So. I'm returning your phone call from this afternoon.

HIM: Oh hi, So and So. I just wanted to let you know that you didn't get the job.

ME: Um, OK. Thanks...I guess.

HIM: (Awkard pause). Well, have a good day!

Click.

I mean, who wants to go there? Why would someone want to subject themselves to that, on either end? Why did he not just leave a message, or better yet, not call me at all and just send an impersonal letter like everyone else? Because the thing is, he made it very clear to me, and I assume to the other people he interviewed, that if we were the top candidate, we would have heard back by a certain date. That date has passed (and also I have concrete confirmation from my inside source, but that's beside the point). The point is, those of us who did not get the job are all well aware that we did not get the job. So why add salt to the wound by MAKING US CALL HIM BACK so he can tell us we didn't get the job? I don't get it.

BOO. Plus, to add to my general depression I just found out today that my Plan B --becoming a permanent resident in Canada-- isn't going to work because it costs a buttload of money, to the tune of $10,000 CD. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I am so frustrated and irritated and just plain hopeless right now. So yeah. Happy Friday.

Unsurprising news

Well, well. Wellity wellity wellity. Guess what. I didn't get the job I didn't think I was going to get! And now that it's over with and there's no chance in hell I will ever set foot in that place again, I think I can dispense with all the secrecy and come out and say that the place where I interviewed last week (you know, for the job I didn't get) was at the Senate library. Yes, the United States of America Senate. That one. I did not get the job there. And I think it's offically unanimous - I suck a big fatty! (Not literally, of course.) But oh well. Life goes on. I'm sure there will be many other jobs I will not get in the future, and some of them will probably also be jobs for which I am technically overqualified, and yet I will still not get them. And that's fine. Really, I'm fine with that. Yay for not getting jobs! In fact, there are very few things in life, I find, that are more satisfying than NOT getting a job. You know what I think is overrated? Financial stability. Financial stability never got anyone anywhere. So really, I should be thanking my lucky stars that I didn't get this job, because then I would be financially stable, and if that happened, what would I have left to worry about? Nothing, that's what! And then what would I do with all my free time? I would become one of those vacuous people you see driving safe, reliable cars, clogging the freeways and belching toxins into the air, on my way to some cultural activity such as a play or concert, supporting the arts in that disgusting, bourgeois, not-a-care-in-the-world manner they have. I would start wearing hip, fashionable clothes, instead of the threadbare togs I currently own, and become another mindless drone of the fashion mafia. Most gruesome of all, I would start putting money towards that piteous symbol of middle-class suburbia: the retirement fund. Ugh. It's better this way, it really is.

Somebody get me a career coach, stat

I didn't get an interview for a solo librarian job in Cheyenne, Woyming. Let me just repeat that for you: rejected for a job in Cheyenne, WYOMING. WY-BLOODY-OMING. Did anybody else actually voluntarily apply for this job, other than me? Does anyone live in Wyoming who wasn't born there or wasn't forced for some reason to live there at gunpoint? I know that I shouldn't feel so bad, considering that I myself do not actually want to live in or near Wyoming. But this does not bode well. Oh, and let's see: also apparently rejected for the humanities librarian position at U of O, and things don't look well for the job I interviewed for last week (which, lest anyone forgets, was a paraprofessional position). The more I think about the interview, the worse of a feeling I get. I knew at the time that some of my answers were just plain bad, and I could feel the words coming out of mouth, knowing that they were wrong and not good and wanting to stuff them back in again, but alas, it was too late. They were already out there.

I'm thinking now that perhaps, maybe, quite possibly, I have chosen to enter the wrong profession. Exhibit A: I do not actually like people, and in fact am of the opinion that most people deep down just plain suck. And quite frankly, I don't care whether or not they ever find the information they are looking for. I chose librarianship as a profession because I wanted to work with books and was pretty sure that the book-editor thing was never gonna happen. It wasn't until I entered library school that I realized the majority of what a librarian does these days does not have anything to do with books, and in fact librarians are the few people working in a library who actually do not handle books on a daily basis. And the technical services jobs are getting fewer and fewer by the day, as more of those duties are being done by library techs who do not have to attend two years of graduate school and thus do not have to waste their lives. Exhibit B: I am apparently not qualified to do much more in a library other than pick my nose, and let's face it, I can probably do that anywhere. It doesn't have to be in a library.

I am badly in need of a pep talk. Anyone? Anyone? Buehler?

Is there anything better than being old AND being unable to get a job?

So my little ploy to get more email didn't work, but that's ok. I had my interview at the undisclosed location yesterday but I have no idea how I did. My gut feeling is that I didn't make a very good impression. I barely got any sleep the night before because I was so nervous for some reason, even though I've never lost sleep before an interview in the past, and certainly not before as unimportant an interview as this one. I think perhaps I'm going slightly insane. So anyway, I was trying really hard to act like I wasn't about ready to pass out, and I'm just hoping I didn't seem stoned or drunk. I was trying really hard to keep a light tone as well and create some rapport, but I think I just came across as frivolous and unprofessional. That's me, frivolity in a fat suit.

Anyhow. I'm a little tense because they were supposed to make a decision by noon today, so at the moment I write this I either got the job or didn't, and there's no way I'll know until next week sometime. Oy vey.

So guess what else. I'm 29. That's the first time I've seen it in writing and I think I'm going to go cry in a corner and contemplate my mortality for awhile. I have exactly one year left until I enter miserable old age and become just another dried up spinster librarian (or should I say, library assistant?). Christ almighty.

Hahaha

OK, you guys have to see this - it's a "trailor" for Brokeback to the Future.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfODSPIYwpQ

My favorite line taken out of context is: "Hell, I made it with you and even I don't understand it!"

And FYI: Apparently Brokeback Mountain was filmed entirely in Alberta. I thought it was too pretty to be Wyoming!

A query

Did anyone else apply for the University of Oregon humanities librarian position, and if so, have you heard back yet? The deadline was December 1, and while I didn't expect to hear anything in December I thought perhaps they might have started contacting people for interviews in January. If anyone out there has an interview, let me know so I can stop thinking I have a shot at this one. Thanks.

The new news

So now that it's official I can tell you my news, even though I've now built it up way beyond its actual importance. Anyway, I have an interview for a library tech position (no progress being made on that front) which pays better than what I make now and is at a much more prestigious library. I will not say in this medium which library, but if you email me I will tell you. Really, it's not that big of a deal except that maybe I have a shot at making a decent salary for once. You guys with your big fancy librarian jobs will probably scoff and roll your eyes, but alas, it seems that paraprofessional positions are the best I can do at this point. So, that's that.

The instruction session went so-so yesterday, and only sucked insofar as that none of the students were interested in anything I had to say and my answers to the few questions they asked me were either completely wrong or just wrong enough to make me look inept. Ah, life.

Corrections

Apparently I am an even bigger idiot than I had previously thought. The BF has informed of very slight yet somehow important errors in my description of Del.icio.us. I guess it too is a bookmark-sharing web site, but is in some way different than Furl. I do not claim to understand the nuances here, I am just reporting this.

More PSAs

Well, I finally saw Brokeback Mountain this weekend, after months of wanting to see it and then for some reason or another never quite getting around to it. It was worth the wait. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal (or whatever, too lazy to look up how to spell his name), were excellent. Superb. Delicious. I've never been a fan of Heath's acting or looks, but I was completely turned around on both counts after seeing this movie. (Of course, the cinematography made even Wyoming look pretty.)

So anyway. Back here in Reality Land there have been some interesting developments in my life, some of which I am not at liberty to divulge just yet (but no, I'm neither engaged nor pregnant). I can tell you, however, that I get the dubious pleasure of doing a library instruction class next week, which I'm not exactly looking forward to but which will look good on the resume. I just hope I don't end up looking and/or sounding like a retard, both of which are real possibilities for me when it comes to public speaking. If you went to library school with me, you know what I'm talking about.

But neither of the above things are the point of this post. The point of this post is to get the word out about some new FREE web services that are coolio (brought to my attention by BF.)

Last Fm
This thing is really cool - it lets you type in the name of a singer or band that you like and gives you a list of similar singers/bands. If you download the appropriate doo-hickeys (which I am aware are actually called plug-ins), you can then listen to a bunch of free music! How do they get away with that? You don't actually download any of the music to your computer. Also, near as I can figure, which isn't very near, you can't actually request any certain songs - you listen to "stations" whose content you don't have much control over other than by choosing a general genre. Eventually, the idea is that you build up a personal profile of music and then the smart little program will play songs in your station that you like. I haven't quite figured out how to make this all work yet, but it seems like a neat idea.

Del.icio.us
Lets you build you own little personal web space, with XML feeds, photos, etc. I haven't tried this one out yet, but it seems intriguing.

Furl
Called "communal bookmarking" - lets you share bookmarks with others, see what other people are bookmarking, look at most popular bookmarks, and search bookmarks on certain topics (I think).

Bloglines
This one lets you host your own blog, plus search other blogs and also acts as a "personal web space" typey thing. This kind of thing appears to be gaining popularity.

Vsocial
A video sharing site. Has some good stuff on it, including clips from SNL skits. I had fun with the Schweaty Balls one.

That's it for today, people. Hopefully I will be able to update you by the end of the week about things which may or may not be going on in my life.

Happy election day, Canada!

The polls are closed, but here's hoping no one voted Conservative! (I wish...)

This is the sound of a dream dying

So I'm reading White Teeth by Zadie Smith, which she wrote when she was 21-22 years old. Smith is 2 years older than me. She has recently published a much-ballyhooed book called On Beauty, which I believe has been shortlisted for the Booker Prize and possibly also the Pulitzer. She is 2 years older than me. And I have come to the heart-sinking, dream-deflating, ego-crushing realization that never, and I mean ever, will I be as talented, articulate, creative and intelligent in all my years on Earth as she was at 21. And it sickens me. I feel like Salieri in the movie Amadeus - I have the passion and the desire to be an artistic genius, but unfortunately just not the talent. Why not me, Lord? Why not me?

*Sigh* So I guess I'll just go to bed (although not sleep, since I've been having the insomnia again), get up tomorrow, and plod off to my meaningless job at the peanut factory, where I will sit in mind-numbing boredom for 8 hours staring at my computer screen like a zombie because I'm too stupid, lazy, and/or talentless to do something interesting with my life.

Not that I'm drowning in self-pity or anything.

Best books EVER, part 2

OK, so I never finished my list of top ten books, not that its important or that anyone cares but its my blog, so what I say goes. (BTW, the post will be apostrophe-free today, since my computer freaks out every time I try to type one. Stupid computer.)

6) The Calvin and Hobbes comic books, by Bill Watterson. If you dont know the joy that is Calvin and Hobbes, I pity you.

7) Beauty by Robin McKinley (not one of the Black Beauty books). I started reading Robin McKinley books in 6th grade - she's a young adult fantasy author - and I still occasionally re-read this one (to my great embarrassment). It's a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, published before the Disney movie came out. Shut up.

8) Dracula by Bram Stoker. I love vampire books; this is of course the original. Yes, I am an unrepentant dork. What of it?

9) The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. I wasn't sure whether to include this, as I was trying to stay away from children's books - that's a whole nother list. But since I'm reading these as an adult and enjoying them in my own adult way, I think it's OK.

10) The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. I think perhaps the only book on the list I haven't re-read ten bajillion times (aside from H.P. books - they're too new), maybe because I enjoyed it so much the first time that I don't want to spoil that feeling. Also, it's long.

It has come to my attention through the making of this list that my reading habits are slovenly. Books I love I re-read over and over again, thus making it more difficult for me to discover new books. But I think I'm getting perhaps a smidge better at forcing myself to read something new, rather than grabbing the trusty stand-by off the bookshelf.

p.s. You may notice that my apostrophes started working about mid-way through the post. WTF?

Best books EVER

So I was pretty bored one day (you can guess where I was), and I decided to create one of those Listmania lists on Amazon. It's called List for Lit Lovers, and I would point you to it except that I don't know how Amazon assigns their damn lists to searches, so you'll just have to take my word for it. Anyway, that got me thinking about my all-time favorite books. (Can you feel another list coming? Yes, you can!) So forthwith, here is a list of my top ten favorite books ever.

1) This is a toughie. It could be about a 4-way tie but that's wimping out. So the first book that comes to mind when I say "my favorite book" is always Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, probably because it's the first book I totally identified with as a plain, lonely teenager who had never had a date. I've since re-read it about a bazillion times, and while I identify with Jane a little less now, I have to give it props for sparking my love affair with 19th century British literature.

2) I think this one goes to The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler. This was the first Anne Tyler book I ever read, and she's since become one of my favorite authors (if not the favorite). It's funny, sad, poignant. If you've never read an Anne Tyler book, I suggest starting with this one.

3) To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Everyone has read this so I don't really feel much more explanation is necessary, although I will say that if the last time you read this was in ninth grade, you should consider picking it up again. It only gets funnier (and at the same time, more tragic) reading it as an adult.

4) Oh, how to choose. I'm going to go with Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen here. Sense and Sensibility may be the better book, but as far as favorites go it's definintely gotta be P & P. Elizabeth, Darcy, the Regency period....it's got everything.

5) Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding. This is where my snooty, high-falutin' English major facade breaks down. I'm sorry, it's just hilarious, OK?

My brain is getting tired now, so I'll finish the rest later on. (Plus I also need to go home and look at my bookshelf to refresh my memory on the books I've read). Stay tuned.

And now a public service announcement

If you haven't seen it yet, check out this Saturday Night Live video. (On the right hand side of the page, mouse over 'Videos' and click on 'Watch' for the first video, entitled 'Chronic(what)cles of Narnia.') Enjoy.

Hint: If it doesn't load in Firefox, use Internet Explorer.

You gotta be shitting me

And now for a completely boring news item brought to you by ALA, straight out of the pages of an A.S. Byatt novel:

London Librarian Finds Byron Manuscript

A University College London librarian has discovered the only known
original manuscript of a poem by English poet Lord Byron inside a book in the
library’s Strong Room Collections. Rare Books Librarian Susan Stead was
doing routine cataloging when she found the 12-line poem—which is dated
April 12, 1812, and begins “Absent or present still to thee”—inscribed in an
1810 copy of Samuel Rogers’s The Pleasures of Memory. “I just opened the
book and there it was,” Stead said in a January 3 BBC news report.
The poem was published in 1816 but there had been no known autograph manuscript of it until Stead’s discovery. The manuscript, which was later authenticated by Byron experts, will remain in the library’s collection, where it will be available to researchers, the Guardian reported January 4.

How completely fascinating. I have lots of things to complain about this week, but how to choose? Sexual harassment or slow-walkers (sort of like low-talkers)?

Sex is always more interesting, I guess. So although I am loathe to talk about my workplace, I will just say that there's this guy who comes into the library a couple times a week, doesn't speak English very well, and is in general very annoying. I made the mistake of trying to be very friendly and helpful the first time I saw him, so now every time he's here he acts very nauseating in a difficult-to-describe way, and either asks me for my personal information or tries to offer me his. I've made it quite clear (at least as I see it) that I have no interest in him whatsoever, but he persists. What creeps me out is that he keeps trying to give me his address, as though I would be stupid enough to go alone to his home, and last time he was here (after I had already refused the offer of his home address) he told me that he owned many businesses and wanted to talk to me about offering me a job. *Shiver* *Vomit* I of course told him that I was not interested.

So my defense against him has been to act as cold, unfriendly, and rude as possible in the hopes that he will eventually get the message and stop coming here, but I hate doing that in front of other patrons because it's unprofessional and sends a bad message about the library. And yet, isn't my personal safety more important? I think so. I don't feel exactly physically threatened by this person, at least not yet, it's just that he skeeves me out. I realize that every woman who lives and breathes on this earth and doesn't live in a cave fifty miles underground has to deal with this kind of thing at some point in their lives. It's just not fair, though.

Just some odds and ends

A lot of possible blog topics have been flitting around my brain, but I can't come up with any one thing that's long enough for an entry so I'm just going to mash them all up together. Enjoy.

First, I would like to propose legislation banning skinny mirrors. From the gym to the dressing room at the Gap, skinny mirrors have become a plague on society. Why is that, you may ask? Though logically you might think I would be in favor of skinny mirrors, I believe they are actually a blight on humanity. For one thing, they tempt you to buy clothes you really shouldn't. I have to admit, I have been hornswoggled more than once into purchasing clothing that I have been conned into thinking make me look svelte and lithe, but which in reality announce to the world, "Fat girl coming through! Make way! Make way!" And then, none the wiser because both of my mirrors at home are skinny mirrors, as are the mirrors at the gym, I go into society perky and confident, thinking I am the shit, when I accentally happen to catch a glance of myself in a realistic mirror. I am then devasted by what I see and utterly confused--which is the real me? The mostly fit and only slighlty overweight image I see in the dressing room, or the chunky and sadly delusioned woman staring back at me in the reality mirror, swathed in clothing much too tight for her protruding fat rolls? People, we deserve to see ourselves as we really are, not as clothing manufacturers and health club corporations would like to trick us into believing we are so they can sell more product. Please, talk to your local representatives about this urgent issue.

The next item on my list--telephones. How I loathe them. I was just reading a letter in Dan Savage's column from a woman who wants to know if all straight men hate talking on the phone as much as straight women love it. It gave me yet another example of how BF and I completely shatter stereotypical gender roles when it comes to relationships. Now, BF doesn't talk on the phone all that much but he does speak to his family on the phone pretty frequently, like more than once a week. I, on the other hand, only use the telephone in order to glean important information from someone who lives more than five miles away, or to make doctor appointments. I do not use the telephone recreationally. I don't know what it is about telephone conversations that I loathe, but I have a few theories. One of the most important is that telephone conversations are generally spontaneous, and no one hates spontaneity more than I. I plan everything, even my trips to the grocery store (this week it will be Monday evening), and I have no place in my life for unaccounted-for events, telephone calls being one of them. To me, recreational telephone calls are the equivalent of an unexpected visit, in the middle of the afternoon, of a relative who lives clear across the country, but who just dropped in to say hello and expects you to quit whatever it is you were doing to chit-chat with them for fifteen minutes. At the end of the conversation they leave as abruptly as they arrived, and you are expected to go on with your life without thinking anything of it. I'm sorry, I just don't operate that way.

The second reason I loathe telephone calls is that someone always calls you when you are in the middle of something else that you'd really rather be doing. So then you have to talk to this person who interrupted you for no good reason, all the while thinking about that other thing you want to be doing. And then invariably the conversation is filled with awkward pauses, which you both rush in to fill, tripping over each other's words, and then the next five minutes after that are filled with even more awkward moments of you both taking turns saying, "No, you go first." I just think I have better things to do with my time. One of them is writing emails. I much prefer emailing over telephoning, because then you can carefully craft your message, perfecting the tone and nuance till you get it just right, and then the recipient has a record of your dazzling words which he or she can then share with others, if appropriate. *Sigh* I'm such a dork.

No doubt you all pity me greatly now, but let me just tell you one thing: I don't need your stinking pity.

Cheers!

(Yes, that's my hand.) Sorry for not posting yesterday, but I was recovering from a wicked hangover (too many crimson drinks, apparently), and it was all I could do just to watch four episodes of The Simpson's, much less turn on my computer and type. So apologies for that. Welcome back - I know I've been gone for awhile, but hopefully you'll like the changes I've made to the blog, and if you don't...well, sorry. I did write one entry on December 24, but it's lame so if you haven't read it yet I wouldn't bother. For my first entry back, I thought I would do the obligatory Year in Review list o' crap. I was going to do a new year's resolution list, but all the things on my list are the same old boring shiznit on everyone else's list- lose weight, get a better job, do something meaningful with my life, yadda yadda yadda - so instead I'm going to unveil my picks for 2005's best books and movies. The books listed are taken from the books I've read in 2005, not necessarily books published in 2005, since I don't often read new releases. But since you all know that I'm an avid movie-goer, rest assured those will all be 2005 releases.

Best Books 2005
1. Blue Shoe/Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott (tie)
2. We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will be Killed with Our Families by Philip Gourevitch
3. Murder on the Leviathan by Boris Akunin
4. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
5. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon

While I was making my list, I realized something about myself, and that is that I evidently read a lot of crap. My originial intention was to make a top ten list, but I cannot even think of ten books I've read this year that I would put on a ten best list, even though I figure I've probably read between 30 and 40 titles - just coming up with five turned out to be hard enough. Another thing I realized is that I should probably keep a list of all the books I read during the year, for no other reason than that it would be really cool to have a list of all the books I've read. Especially since the majority of my books come from the library, so I lose track from time to time. Hopefully the "What I'm Reading Now" section of my blog will help a little with that. Anyway, on to the movies.

Best Movies 2005
1. Crash
2. The Constant Gardener
3. Junebug
4. Pride and Prejudice
5. 40-Year-Old Virgin

The hard thing with these lists, especially the movies list, is picking between the most Important Movies/Books, and the most Enjoyable/Entertaining. Unfortunately for lazy-minded people like me, the twain do not often meet, so I tried to mix it up a bit. For instance, Crash was a very uncomfortable movie to sit through (I almost left during the first ten minutes, and if you've seen the movie I think you know why), and it's probably not a movie I would like to see again. But I think it's an excellent piece of art, and makes some interesting and provocative observations about American racial tensions. And then there's Pride and Prejudice, which does virtually nothing new with the whole Jane Austen thing, but it was one of those movies where it was exactly the kind of thing I wanted to see at the time and it wasn't horrible, so it left me with a very favorable impression. Actually, I doubt I would ever not put a Jane Austen adaptation on a top movie list, but that's just because I'm a brit lit geek.

Anyway, thanks for coming back to me, oh my wonderful readers, and I hope I won't let you down this year. (And if you want to put your own lists in the comments, please feel free. I'm also a list geek.) Happy 2006!