Movie reviews and other nonsense

The movie 'Junebug' finally came out here, so like a good little moviegoer I went to see it right away. I can probably trace the demise of my financial state directly to my movie habit. Anyway, that's beside the point. The point is, it was a really good movie. It's not really the type you need to see in the theatre - a DVD and a living room couch will do just fine - but I thought it was quite swell just the same. For those not into the indie thing, Junebug is about a husband and wife who, six months after they get married (having tied the knot a week after they met), go to visit the husband's family in South Carolina. The wife is the sophisticated owner of an art gallery, and although it's unclear as to what nationality she is supposed to be, she is played by British actress Embeth Davitz (evil lady in Bridget Jones' Diary), and thus has a British accent. We can see where this is going. But the movie is not as obvious as my description makes it seem; it's funny, sad, poignant, and honest about what we do and do not know about the people we're in relationships with, both romantic and familial. So, if you can afford it, I recommend going to the theatre to see it, and if not, it will make an entertaining DVD rental.

I just finished reading 'Willful Creatures' by Aimee Bender and am now on to 'Assassination Vacation' by Sarah Vowell. 'Willful Creatures', a collection of short stories, was sometimes a bit too surreal for my taste - I always feel like I need to figure out all the symbolism and try to decipher what the author is really trying to say, instead of just taking it for what it is, an enjoyably surreal, nonsensical story. But I just can't do it, I tell ya! Anyway, 'Assassination Vacation' is very Sarah Vowell-ish, in that it can be a little difficult to follow the narrative arc of her essays, what with all her (what she terms) shenanigans. This is where, every few sentences, she goes off on a tangent and sometimes it takes her awhile to wind back around to the original thought again. But she is very funny and liberal and acerbic, so I will sit back and enjoy it. (Also she admits in the book that she is a fellow driving-phobe - I am not alone!)

Well, I guess that's pretty much it for this time. I just found out today that my start date at the new job has been pushed back to September 12, so I'm kind of in a holding pattern until then. The most important thing I must do right now is not spend any money, which is so damn difficult when you've nothing else to do. Paradoxically, since I found out about this job I feel like all of my time has been sucked away and I don't have a single minute to spare - my bathroom needs cleaning and there's a pile of unfolded laundry on my bed, but somehow I've not been able to get around to completing these tasks. (Yet I found a way to take an hour-long nap this afternoon and write this blog post...hmmm.)

Forgot to mention, the library of new job is located on Haycock Road. Do you think that's a bad omen?

No longer unemployed?

I had an interview scheduled for this afternoon for another one of those 6 hr/week, out-in-the-sticks positions, and have been thinking all day about the joys of doing 8 interviews in 4 weeks. I had my whole blog post sketched out in my mind - it even involved a witticism regarding Chee-tohs. Then, right before I was going to leave for the interview, I received a phone call from the $28K evenings/weekends place informing me that I was their 'top candidate' and would be receiving an offer pending reference and background checks. So, I did what any rational person would do in my financial position and basically indicated that I would accept the offer. Then I called the other library and cancelled my interview, which was supposed to take place in an hour. I felt really bad and unprofessional doing that, but on the other hand it's not like I would have been able to take a job there anyway, so why bother wasting their time? (Of course, had that position been more lucrative than the one I accepted, I would have gone to the interview anyway.)

I'm of two minds about the whole thing: I'm glad that this came when it did, because we all know how strapped for cash I am. However, I'm not at all happy about the hours or the pay and frankly am a little crushed that my first job out of library school is so much lower than my expectations (especially since my first job out of college was pretty much the same experience). I know I have to grin and bear it and can't be picky, but I had foolishly believed that by living in this area my opportunities would be so much better. In fact, in order to survive financially out here, I needed them to be better. I won't stop looking for other positions, but everybody knows how difficult it is to look for jobs while working full time.

So anyway, about this job: I just read an article about people who got fired for mentioning their workplaces in their blogs so I'm not going to say where it is specifically, but it's at a satellite/branch library that serves two universities that focus on professional programs. I will be working mainly with two other full-time employees, neither of whom are librarians or have library degrees. So it will be ironic that I, with the graduate degree, will be working below people who don't have the degree. Interesting twist of fate, no?

But alas, it is a job, and right when I really needed one, so I will count my blessings. And no, I won't be changing the name of the blog cuz I don't want to change the URL (don't want to confuse my vast readership, you see).

Nothing is funnier than people dying for oil

Andrew Sullivan is running a contest on his blog to come up with bumper stickers about the connection between gas-guzzling SUVs and the 'War on Terror.' Here are a few:

"How many soldiers-per-gallon does your SUV get?"

"Osama Loves Your SUV."

"U.S. troops died for your SUV -- Drive it proudly."

Graphic of Osama: "LUV your SUV!"

"I'm funding terrorists, ask me how." (My personal favorite).

"SUV: Killing Americans at home and abroad"

FYI: For a Republican, he actually has some good things to say on the subject.

Utter despair

I wasn't going to write today because I am having a very bad day and wanted to punish the world by depriving it of my genius. Yeah. Also, I tried to punish the world by eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's (Phish Food, for the detail-oriented among you), but realized in time that I would only be punishing myself, and only ate half of it.

Basically, it has come to my attention that I am fucked seven ways from Sunday, financially speaking. The specter of packing my bags and moving in with my parents has been haunting me all day, and I'm not sure what to do about it. This is especially frightening because my parents are still camping in their RV in southern Oregon, and won't be going back home to Arizona until the end of October. Dear reader, if you happen to have a few thousand extra dollars lying around, I could really use it right about now.

Apparently the Librarian I position for which I had been called back for the second round of interviews will not be going to me, since I haven't heard anything about it in almost two weeks. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Profound despair now ensuing. Parents, who have now generously extended a second loan to me, are not even reachable by phone, and thus I would have to broach the delicate subject of my complete fuckage over email. Which I REALLY don't want to do.

Added to all this is the fact that the movie 'Junebug' still hasn't come out in theatres here, so not only am I drowning in self-pity, I'm bored as hell and don't even have any good movies to see. Has anyone seen '40 Year-Old Virgin' yet? Is it any good? I know I shouldn't be spending money on movies right now, but if I have to spend another evening holed up in my apartment watching Cold Case Files on A&E, things will get ugly.

I am so absorbed by my own problems right now I don't even care what asinine thing Pat Robertson is saying to ruin the country.

Phooey

Another black day on the job-hunting front. I had an interview this morning for what most MLIS grads would consider a major step in the wrong direction - a 'library specialist' position paying $28k, working afternoon and evening shifts with rotating weekends. Pardon me while I vomit. This whole thing, as I have said time and again, is so enormously frustrating. On one hand, I can no longer afford not to take anything that is thrown my way. On the other hand...are you kidding me? $28K is only $3000 more than I made at my first job out of college. This is all just getting too surreal.

BTW, haven't heard back about that menial cataloging position; you know, the one where my resume was referred to as 'impressive' (for the first and probably only time)? And speaking about not hearing back, I haven't heard back about two positions for which I interviewed, one of them being the famous LIAR one. Obviously I realize I haven't gotten the job, but I would just like to have a reject letter so I can get some closure and move on with my life. Also so I can write them a snarky letter asking for my transcript back. Oh yeah, also never heard one peep about that first interview I had back in MAY - not even an email, which I find very unprofessional. Come on, folks, let's at least be mature about this. Stupid NASA, think they're so cool going into space and shit.

Well, I'm about one month away from throwing in the towel and applying for permanent residence in Canada. If this country won't have me, maybe another one will.

Some people just don't get it

Always on the look-out for clever blogs to put on my links list, I just read a librarian's blog that was not only NOT a rant-filled, sarcastic jab at coworkers and patrons, but contained orderly and well written complete thoughts on subjects mostly unrelated to libraries. I'm sorry, but does this person not understand what a blog is? Blogs are supposed to be self-absorbed accounts of how the world has wronged you, with the occasional witty and acerbic observation thrown in. Am I wrong here? Won't be linking to that one.

Anyway, I forgot to report on the Gogol Bordello concert. The music was an interesting blend of Russian folk, punk, and ska - not something I'd listen every day, but it was a decent live act. It was also nice to be surrounded be people wearing jeans and tank tops; for once I didn't feel out of place. BF's sister also came with us - I think she was ready to run screaming from the club, and in fact ended up leaving after the opening act (she is a frequenter of the posher nightclubs and would not be caught dead wearing off-brands outside of her own home). So it was nice to see her squirm for a change.

Last night we went out to dinner, and even though I didn't have all that much to drink, I now have a wretched hangover. Part of it I'm sure is due to the fact that I am constantly dehydrated out here, which is odd, considering how humid it is. The palms of my hands are so dry my skin is peeling. Maybe I have a disease.

Things I hate

You know your life is boring when you've spent the majority of the day sleeping. I just couldn't think of anything better to do. I like sleeping because it's free, convenient, and is an activity I can do without slogging outside in the disgusting, drippy weather that defines August in DC.

Since I'm feeling grumpy and homesick today (how unusual!), here's some things I hate about DC:

1. The weather. Obviously. Murderously hot in summer, deathly cold in winter (so I hear).

2. Everyone who lives here works for the government, or for law firms or lobby firms. Which means the place is crawling with Republicans.

3. There are no neighborhoods here as you would think of them in Vancouver. There are residential zones with houses only, commercial zones with businesses only, and then there are high-rise apartment complexes.

4. Parks are defined differently here as well. Here, a 'park' is a 10 ft by 10 ft square plot of ground with a couple of scrubby trees and some benches where homeless people sleep. Undoubtedly these are also popular places to make drug deals.

5. No beaches (or mountains) in sight.

6. Palpable racial tension.

7. Georgetown, one of the livelier and more uppity neighborhoods in DC (think Kits, only with more Banana Republics and narrower sidewalks) is a bitch to get to. It's about two miles away from my apartment, but takes me 45 minutes to get there.

8. No Chinese markets for fresh fruits and vegetables.

9. There is no casual dress here. If you're not wearing designer, you might as well be scrubbing toilets.

10. I just hate it, OK?

Happy Saturday, everyone!

Injustice will be served

Tiny little article buried in the New Tork Times:

"FORT BLISS, Tex., Aug. 18 (AP) - A jury on Thursday spared Pfc. Willie V. Brand from prison time, reducing his rank a day after he was convicted in a brutal attack on an Afghan prisoner. Prosecutors had asked that the defendant, 27, be sent to a military prison for 10 years with a dishonorable discharge.

On Wednesday, a jury of four enlisted soldiers and three officers convicted Private Brand of assault, maltreatment, maiming and making a false official statement in connection with an attack on a detainee known as Dilawar at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan while Private Brand worked in a detention center there in December 2002.

The jury acquitted him of charges that he had abused a second detainee, Habibullah. Both prisoners died in December 2002."

Notice that the attack ocurred in December of 2002, and the prisoner died in December of 2002. So apparently murder is legal now in this country. Tell your friends.

In other news, I wanted to address some issues raised in that article I talked about yesterday. I started thinking that the problem with the MLIS degree as it now stands is that us plebes think of the degree as our ticket into the library profession, whereas apparently employers don't quite see it that way. While you must have the degree to be a professional librarian, having the degree does not in and of itself make one a professional librarian. This is some weird shit, because it means that people like me, who cannot afford to work part-time, sans benefits library assistant/ library tech jobs for five years till they go get their master's, cannot be librarians in the system as it is now. According to employers, I do not currently have enough 'library experience' to be a librarian, even though I have the degree. So what about people in their 30s, 40s, or 50s who have families to support, but who want to change careers midlife? According to the system, they are shit out of luck as well (although they probably have previous careers to draw from experience-wise). I cannot think of any other profession where this is the case - if you have a medical degree, you are a doctor. If you have a law degree, you are a lawyer. These fields understand that its new grads won't have much practical experience, and thus build entry-level positions into its structure to make room for them to develop.

So I have a proposal. The library profession likes the idea of a master's degree (as do I - I think it's a good idea for librarians to have a bachelor's at the very least), and yet they also think that professional librarians need years of experience in order to be conferred with that title. Therefore, why not make one year of the master's program an apprenticeship? The first year can be made up of classes on bibliographic organization and other theory, while the second year will be a practical experience in a real library, doing real librarian work. This would require a lot of cooperation from the library community, but on the other hand it also means libraries would get a lot of free labor. The students would work for credit, and would pay for the program the same ways they would if they were going to classes (student loans or part-time work). This cuts through having to take a lot of bullshit courses, and also means that people who've been working in the library field for several years could get automatic credit towards their MLIS degree - they would be able to finish in one year instead of two. I think it's genius. And I also think that the library profession needs to acknowledge that they can't have it both ways - they cannot keep pretending to be a 'scholarly' profession while requiring practitioners to have practical skills over academic ones.

That's just the way I see it.

Deep sigh

I just received this email:

'Thank you for your application; your resume is impressive. I think you must not realize, however, that the Cataloger I is an entry-level paraprofessional position. I will hold your application in abeyance unless I hear confirmation that you are indeed interested in this low-level job.'

You see what I'm up against here? Should I send them the link to that article? I hate my life.

We are not alone

A friend of mine brought this article to my attention, which proves that I'm not as big of a loser as everyone thinks I am. It also proves that, yes, in fact our MLIS program was a big fat joke and did not actually prepare us for any career, let alone a library one. So here's to SLAIS - big waster of two years of my life and about $22K!!

Although the article was comforting in a way, it was also kind of a downer. It means that while all of us new grads are feeling the pinch, it's not going to get better any time soon. How long should I wait before I start looking for a job outside the field? And what kind of job would that be? I've already proven time and again that I can do absolutely nothing.

Which brings me to my next item of business. It was suggested to me that perhaps my last post was a bit harsh. And I will admit, maybe I crossed the line from sarcastic to hostile. However, I think my point is still valid - unless people have some sort of concrete help to offer (i.e. a job), the best way to comfort an unemployed person is simply to provide ecouragement or sympathy. 'Hang in there,' is so much less rage-ifying than 'Why don't you call some law firms?' [And I won't stop slapping you long enough to explain why this last comment is offensive if you say it to me.] And also my tirade was not really meant for anyone who would be reading this blog, but it was just something I wanted to get off my chest about people out there in the world (mostly relatives and older parental-types) who don't understand what we're going through.

OK, 'life-is-shite' talk is now out of the way. I just wanted to mention that I am quite enjoying my Anne Lamott book. She has such a wonderful, funny way of describing people and their quirky behaviors. Here's a quote:

'Mattie noticed how many secrets she kept from William, so that he wouldn't see her as someone with a lot of problems. She wanted him to see her as someone with just a few pieces of colorful carry-on luggage, instead of multiple body bags requiring special cargo fees and handling.'

And no, it's not chick lit (the very moniker of which I find offensive). The novel is a little light on plot - things don't happen to the characters so much as the characters evolve over time. But that's OK - I was never very good at plot myself. And anyway, she's such a witty writer that you don't really notice.

And that's all I have to say about that. Stay tuned tomorrow for a report on the concert I'm going to tonight (anyone heard of Gogel Bordello?).

How not to offend me

I just counted, and as far as I can remember I have now applied for roughly 35 jobs since May. I don't know, maybe it's me, but this seems like a lot. This is why I'm getting just a wee bit tired of well-meaning acquaintances trying to offer me 'helpful hints' on the job search process. First of all, saying things like 'Have you checked with all the libraries yet?' freak me out a little inside. 'Well garsh, is that where I should be looking? Don't I feel like the idiot!' So unless you are in the library profession, don't even begin to tell me where I should look for a job. People seem to think that just because they may have been to some libraries in the past and maybe even checked out a book or two, this means they know about the library profession. You don't, OK?

Secondly, suggestions like, 'Maybe you're setting your sights too high,' also show complete ignorance regarding the hierarchical system of most libraries. I can and in fact I have applied for library assistant positions, but I never hear back about them because people with MLIS degrees simply do not work as library assistants. It's like someone with a JD working as a legal secretary. It just does not happen. So please, stop trying to offer me advice. Making ignorant, condescending remarks like those above imply that I am either too naive or too incompetent to conduct a job search on my own. Hell, maybe I am. But the point is, these kinds of things are not helpful to people who are already chronically depressed about their lack of emplyoment.

Now that I've finished preaching to the choir, moving on to filthy jokes. BF and I saw 'The Aristocrats' on Saturday and were highly amused. If you enjoy stand-up comedy and filthy jokes you should really see this movie. Otherwise, stay as far away from it as you can, because it will offend you and you will be disgusted. You may even have nightmares. Next I want to see 'Junebug.'

And as long as I'm just rambling here, I finished the Rwanda book and also finished 'A Girl Named Zippy.' The latter is pretty fluffy and I didn't get into it until the second half, but it made a nice counterbalance to 'We Wish to Inform You.' 'Zippy' was amusing in its way, but I don't recommend it unless you're really interested in memoirs about life in small-town Indiana in the 60s and 70s. Now I'm on to 'The Blue Shoe' by Anne Lamott, whose non-fiction is hilarious. I've heard that her novels are not quite as entertaining, but I'm holding out hope.

And now back to MY problems

Well, I hardly feel like I can complain about my own life after yesterday's post, and yet I will anyway.

Right now I am struggling against falling into the classic Torpor of the Unemployed. This is what happens to you when you've been unemployed for going on 3.5 months now, have been buried under a pile of reject letters (more on this later), and at this point applying for another job holds about the same appeal as climbing Mt. Everest. I mean, it looks like a good idea in the abstract, but when you sit down and really think about it, is it really worth all the agony and the effort? Probably not. This is a bad place to be, because not only does it make me feel like I need to take a nap every day at 11 a.m., but now I feel like I don't even want to work anymore. I just want to continue borrowing money from relatives and wear down the ol' credit card, watch TV, read books, write my little blog and forget about that career thing. My only resistance against this disease is my volunteer work, which I am now doing four days a week but which makes me grumpy every day I have to go.

And as I mentioned earlier, the rejection notices aren't helping anything. So last week I found out I didn't get the sucky 6 hr/week Sunday position in BFE, didn't get another position I interviewed for, and apparently am not going to get called back for the LIAR position, either. I know we all could have predicted that one, but a small part of me still held out hope, especially since I sent them my one official transcript that was supposed to be for my own records. I think I'm going to ask them to mail it back to me. It's the least they can do.

I did go to the second round of interviews for the woman who wouldn't tell me her name and she was a little warmer this time, but apparently there is a third round of interviews and I don't know if I will be invited back or not. Yes, three rounds of interviews for a Librarian I position - seems absurd, doesn't it? One of the positions is part-time, did I mention that? (There are two available.) But now I'm at a point where even though the job pays for shite and I doubt I would even like it, I pretty much have to take whatever I'm offered. *Sigh* Well, at least I'm not in grave danger of being murdered with a machete (as long as I stay out of Northeast DC).

Shame

So I never did go back to talking about moral bankruptcy like I said I was going to. Basically, what I was going to say was that Bill Clinton, whom I have always liked and respected even though he can't keep his dick in his pants, is in fact a disgraceful coward. I've been reading more of 'We Wish to Inform You,' and I was shocked and saddened to learn that not only did the United States and Bill Clinton himself know exactly what was going on in Rwanda and refused to send troops or aid, but Madeleine Albright actively encouraged the United Nations to delay any action, until of course it was too late. The same Madeleine Albright whose grandparents were killed in the Jewish Holocaust. Disgraceful. By the time the genocide was over, at least 800,000 people had been killed in just a few months. Think about that number for a second - how many people died in the September 11th attacks? Around 2,000. The f*cking world mourned those 2,000 people for months. How many of us have even stopped to think about the Rwandan genocides, or how many of us even know the number of people killed? Our foreign policy, even our culture's general attitude toward the world, is so overtly racist it shames me. Even worse - there were UN peacekeeping troops on the ground in Rwanda at the time; they saw what was happening, and the general in charge (who happened to be Canadian, God bless him) asked the UN for permission to use force to stop the genocide. He was denied. DISGRACEFUL.

I hope that Clinton's newfound mission to eradicate AIDS and poverty in Africa will do something to cleanse his dirty, dirty soul.

Yeah, I'm back

Having bathed in my own perspiration at the zoo all afternoon (today being a particularly sticky, yucky day in DC) I am back with more lists because I know the masses love them. And in case anyone is curious, the zoo was neat - I especially enjoyed the apes and orangutans. I'm sorry, but anyone who watches them for any length of time cannot help but be confronted with the evidence of our ancestry. Unfortunately the pandas were inside because of the heat so we couldn't see them.

Anyway, herewith: Top 5 Movies I Want to See but for Some Reason Haven't Seen yet:

1. Sling Blade
2. The Godfather
3. Dead Man Walking
4. Maria Full of Grace
5. Trainspotting

Honorable mentions for the movies that exceeded expectations that I forgot about:

-Meet the Parents
-Spiderman II, which I expected to suck ass and turned out to be actually entertaining.

And since nobody asked, here's a list of the movies I've seen lately that disappointed me:

Top 5 Movies that Have Disappointed My Expectations Lately:

1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Tim Burton promised this wouldn't be a remake. Hello, remake city! Only redeeming quality: Johnny Depp, who is both devastatingly hot and one of the best actors today. Also I must admit that the Oompa-Loompa song-and-dance routines were pretty good.

2. Broken Flowers - I just didn't get it. Or maybe I got, but I just didn't care. Either way, I didn't like it.

3. The Wedding Crashers - Yeah, Vince Vaughan is the man and I wish I could marry him, but I can name about ten other movies that are exactly like this one. Too predictable.

4. The Amityville Horror - Was just stupid - more gross than scary. And please, let's stop with the creepy little girls who hide behind a curtain of long dark hair. Enough already. I wish a really good horror movie would come out again.

5. Bride and Prejudice - Really wanted to like this one, but it was so bland and boring. Not to mention the acting was TERRIBLE.

Ok, that's good for now. Bye.

More lists

Thanks to a spate of recent movies that have been disappointing to me, this next list will honor those movies that have exceeded expectations and thus deserve a mention on my blog.

Top 5 Movies that Have Exceeded My Expectations (in no particular order):

1. The Sixth Sense
2. There's Something About Mary
3. Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle (if you haven't seen this, you really should)
4. American Beauty
5. Shirley Valentine

Coming soon...more lists. I'm in a list-y kind of mood right now. Feel free to add your own lists in the comments, too. Be back soon, am going to zoo now.

Good times

I have been rather gloomy lately, so today is going to be Fun Post day. Have I got a treat for you--it's Listmania! The first list, and maybe the only list, depending on how I feel, will be Top Ten Things to Do When You're Unemployed: (Other than look for a job)

10. Count every penny in your bank account. Keep recounting to make sure you haven't missed any. When the number finally sinks in, stare at a wall for an hour. This is how you will be spending every Saturday night until you get a job.

9. Yell indiscriminately at everyone in your household for no reason. Yell at a few people on the street, too. It helps break the tension.

8. Sleep.

7. Start making lists of people you can beg money off of. If you can list more than three people, congratulations. People must like you. Either that or you know a lot of wealthy people. Again, congratulations.

6. Rummage through couch cushions, purses, backpacks, and any other place loose change can collect to scrounge up enough money for a Snickers. Try not to pay in pennies, though.

5. If you live in a city, see how far and/or long you can go on one bus/subway ticket.

4. Check your email obsessively every two or three minutes, since you never know when a friend or potential employer will take a few minutes out of their busy day to acknowledge your existence.

3. Stare at the wall some more. You have nothing better to do.

2. Flagellate yourself by thinking about all your friends who have the same background, education, and abilities, but who are all somehow better off than you. Wallow in self-pity while refusing to take any of the blame for your bad decision-making.

1. Start up a lame-ass blog that no one will read. Pretend what you have to say is Very Important.

One more thing

Have realized I really am an insufferable whiner. You have my permission to smack me the next time you see me.

Bankruptcy (Moral and Otherwise)

I'll start with the otherwise first. I looked at my account balance online last night (having long ago abandoned the practice of balancing it by hand - too depressing), and I realized that I am much closer to penniless than I had imagined. Hopefully I'll be able to mooch off of the BF for a little while longer; remember what I said a few posts ago about not being able to pay rent? Yeah, aint gonna happen. Which makes me feel very angry and cheated by society, and I'll tell you why.

When I went to a very expensive liberal arts college and took out tens of thousands of dollars in student loans, everyone assured us innocent youngsters that we were NOT throwing our money away; we were going to be so competitive in the marketplace with a degree from this completely obscure private university that people would be falling all over themselves to hand us well-paying jobs when we graduated. So, like a fool, I believed these money-grubbing liars. To my dismay, I found when I graduated that in fact I had virtually no skills, other than the ability to explicate Alexander Pope, and that there was no reason in hell why any employer would want to hire me. So I took some crap jobs because I was raised with my parents' work ethic of 'Find a job, pay the bills. If you like your job, bully for you. If not, at least you can pay the bills.' Anyway, I kept on working crap jobs, trying to earn enough to make ends meet and rarely succeeding. Finally I realized I would need to get some real skills if I ever wanted to get out of the crap-job cycle. So I went back to school for my MLIS, and even though I went the cheapest possible route (Canada), I still ended up with enormous debt. Incidentally, I never was able to earn enough to start paying off those undergrad loans, and it sickens me to think about the interest accruing on those.

So here I am: 28 years old, buried under a thousand miles of student loan and credit card debt, with still no job and no real achievements to speak of. Meanwhile the credit card debt is mounting as I sit here unemployed. The reason I am angry is because a) I'm American, and therefore I believe I am entitled to every priviledge under the sun and b) I feel like the whole economic system of our society is engineered to make rich people richer and poor people poorer. When I graduated with my bachelor's, I couldn't afford to take a cherry unpaid internship or live off my parents until something better came along, and my parents didn't have any neat connections to help me get a good job. So how was I supposed to gain any real experience or skills? I had to take jobs that required no skills, no education. And now I am again in the same situation - my degree, while it is in essence a passport into the library profession, has still not afforded me any real skills or experience, reflected by the fact that I can't get arrested in this town, much less hired.

As Virginia Woolf once said, to make it as a writer you need to have a room of your own. Meaning not only that you need to have a physical space of your own in which you can be creative, but you need the financial capability of owning property large enough so that you can have a room of your own, as well as the money to live off so you have time to be creative and don't need to work for your survival. And I think this same message can be applied to success in general: to be successful, you must have the financial means to wait for the right opportunities. I simply do not have the time to wait.

Yes, I probably should not have been an English major. That was my first mistake. Anyway, I felt I had a point to make here, but I think I've done more bitching than point-making and now I'm all agitated, so I think I'll stop here. I was going to say some stuff about moral bankruptcy, but I'll save that for later.

A post about appetizers, mainly

Tom and I went to Maryland today to see the so-called Eastern Shore, which is not really a 'shore' as I think of it, but rather Chesapeake Bay. We went to a quaint little old town called St. Michaels and I had crab cakes at The Crab Claw - apparently it's a must that you eat crab while on the Eastern Shore. Anyway, it was a fun and relaxing day away from the city - we even went on a river cruise and got to see not only the home where they shot the exteriors for 'The Wedding Crashers' but also sundry other $14 million homes along the river. Makes me feel real special to get to go back to my nice little suffocating shoebox apartment in the sky. Flipping rich bastards.

Anyway, after we went on the river cruise we needed to kill some time before heading back to DC so as to avoid rush-hour traffic, so we decided to stop off at a Ruby Tuesday. Since we were still full from lunch we just got appetizers, and tried to pick the safest ones on the menu, nachos and onion rings. No one can screw up nachos and onions rings, said we. I mean, I've had good nachos at Appleby's. Swear to God, Appleby's!

My Lord. Were those the worst nachos and onion rings I've ever had. Let me just say, cayenne pepper should never be allowed NEAR onion rings, and as for the nachos, just don't. Throw away the recipe, and start anew. Because those are not nachos; that is shit piled on tortilla chips.

I hope I don't get sued for this, but come on! Nachos and onion rings, people! How hard can it be?

But other than that, it was a good day.

This just in

OK, I just went over to the Lipstick Librarian blog, and now I have to have an "I'm a librarian, bitch!" pin and/or T-shirt. Just in case anyone was thinking of buying me a present.

Ah, my good friend Bitterness

I do NOT recommend going on three interviews in one week, especially not for three days in a row. This week was horrible - by Friday I was completely drained and fed up with the whole enterprise. I got my first job offer yesterday, but since they're only willing to pay $26k and want a commitment of six months to a year, they can keep their stinkin' job. The only reason I applied for it in the first place was so maybe I could work part-time until something better came through. So that interview was a colossal waste of time.

Then I had to go to a meeting for my volunteer work, which was another colossal waste of time - lasted about an hour longer than it needed to, and made me get home too late to go to my gym class. Also, I met my co-volunteer who turned out to be a total dildo and learned that the wanky spreadsheet we're supposed to be using for the project hasn't been made yet, so guess who's doing that? Good ol' me. I just figured the other guy was way too stupid to do anything right.

I also heard back from my Mary Thelen interview and turns out they want me to come in for a second round. I didn't blog about this one, but I did not get a very good feel from the woman who interviewed me. And a couple things insulted me about her process: a)she made me fill out an application form at the beginning of the interview, which basically repeated everything in my resume and made me feel like I was applying for a minimum wage job; b)once I had filled it out, she sat down and flipped through it for about five minutes, as though it was going to reveal something new about me (or as though she needed to remind herself who I was); c) the damn job only pays in the low 30s; d)the next round consists of 'skills testing' to make sure I haven't lied on my resume.

Rage building, building...

Another Day in the Trenches

Lately I’ve been wondering if everyone thinks I’m a whiner. No doubt some people think I’m a whiner, but does everybody? A couple of weeks ago I had dinner with an old college friend, and I swear I heard her call me a wimp. I think she said, “One year is a long time if you’re a wimp,” in reference to my having said that I had looked into becoming an x-ray technologist at one point, but decided not to since the program was a year long, and I had already decided to get my MLIS in two years’ time. Anyway, that’s probably not what she said but I couldn’t figure out what else it could have been. What sounds like 'wimp' and makes sense in that context? Nothing that I can think of. Maybe she only said it to get back at me for saying that I have to wear socks and tennis shoes and look like a retard when I go anywhere, only to remember as I was saying it that she was wearing socks and tennis shoes [with shorts]. I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing me complain about how much I hate DC, though, which is probably why none of my friends are emailing me anymore.

So, to get off the whining tanget, I'm going to talk about something else today. Since I am supposedly a librarian, it seems appropriate to talk about books. I just got done reading 'The Feminine Mystique' by Betty Friedan, for the Banned Books Club that I just joined (we read banned books, we don't ban them ourselves). In some ways it was predictable; obviously I had known that the 50s and 60s were a very repressive period for women. What I didn't realize was how repressive it was, nor how much of a backslide these two decades were for feminism in general. I mean, I knew the first feminist movement had taken place in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, but I guess I had figured that women were slowly gaining rights from the time they got the vote until now. Not so, apparently. Friedan puts forth some pretty good theories and some appalling statistics (a huge jump in the number of post-World War II women who were getting married in their teens, as opposed to women in the 1930s and early 40s), but she's way off regarding other things like homosexuality. But you have to give her credit because this book was really one of the main catalysts for the feminist movement in the 60s and 70s, and she wrote it while being a 'housewife.'

Now I've moved on to another really uplifting book, 'We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families,' by Philip Gourevitch. It's about the Rwandan genocide - fun stuff! However, it's not as depressing as you would think (that sounds really insensitive, I know); it's very well-written and I highly recommend it so far. Interesting tidbits about France in there as well - I'm not anti-France, but it proves Americans aren't the only f*ckers in the world. It's a good wake-up call for self-absorbed people like me.

Anyone got any other recommendations as for good reading? As soon as I finish this book I'm headed back to fiction for awhile, although I've also been wanting to read Sarah Vowell's stuff.

P.S. The interview yesterday - very nice and informal. Too bad it took an hour and 40 minutes to get there. The Mary Thelen interview is this afternoon; really looking forward to that one.

Fear and Loathing in Arlington

I'm in a bad mood today because I have an interview this afternoon in Alexandria, and it's going to be a pain in the ass to get to. I've decided to take public transportation rather than drive, which means leaving my house at 3:00 pm to insure getting to the interview on time at 5:00 pm. I have to take the subway and change trains twice, then I have to take a bus from the subway to the library, which only leaves every half hour and takes a half hour to arrive at the library. I could drive, but given the time of day and the route I would have to take, which appears to be fraught with potential for getting lost, I can't really stomach that option. Also, I might as well admit it, I have a driving phobia. I am Stephanie, and I fear driving. Actually I only fear city driving, but it has become somewhat of a crippling illness of late, not to mention a bone of contention between the BF and I. Am I the only one? I never drove at all during my whole second year in Vancouver, yet I did not have problems getting anywhere. I hate this flipping country.

Now I feel slightly better. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the worst part of this whole expedition. I am interviewing for a SIX HOUR A WEEK position. Why do I even bother, you say? I don't know.

I'm also pissy because I volunteered to do some cataloging for a non-profit in my free time, only to find out the whole thing is very disorganized and un-library like, but now I'm committed. We are going to be cataloging (get this) in an Excel spreadsheet until they decide what kind of software they want to buy. Irritation level=10. By the way, anyone have a spare copy of AACR2 you want to lend me? Didn't think so.

OK, one last thing - I changed my settings so that anyone can post comments, not just registered users. And I know I promised that the whole blog would not just be one long rant about finding a job, so I'll try to be cheerier from now on. Over and out.

A Day for Rejoicing

No, I didn't get a job. But I did get my computer in the mail, and I am so happy I could weep. My files, my lovely files! I never thought I would be so happy to see them. This means that I can now start using my new LCD monitor that I got as a grad present from my BF. And it means that I can finally stop using the hand-me-down piece of crap laptop that has been my only means of communication with the outside world for the past three months. It's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. [For the uninformed, my computer was being held hostage by my BF's parents. Long story.]

In other news, I just realized that I spelled the word 'genius' wrong in my first post. Perhaps this is why I don't get more job offers.

But now I'm gonna bring the room down for a minute. Today has been a stressful day, not because I've had any shite interviews or more people calling me a liar, but because I now realize I'm going to have to make some tough decisions pretty soon. You see, I've been applying not only to full-time salaried dream jobs, but also crap jobs to pay the bills. But if I get one of those crap jobs, the dilemma then becomes: should I take it so that I no longer have to suffer in poverty (well, I'll still be in poverty, but perhaps slightly less poverty), and thus ruin my chances of being able to interview for anything else? Or should I hold out for something better, with the knowledge that I may be holding out for quite some time and may not in fact be able to make my next rent payment? What is a girl to do?

Just another note from the Annals of the Unemployed. I'd like to write more tonight, but I have to get up reasonably early tomorrow, so I'm off to bed.

First Post Ever

I don't know if librarians can technically be hacks, but if they can then I am one. You see, I just graduated from library school in May and have since moved from Vancouver, British Columbia,--aka 'Paradise'-- to Arlington, Virginia, and am now in the always-degrading position of searching for employment. To me, this process is akin to prying out my eyeballs with a rusty fork, and thus I have formed a blog to cry about it like a little baby.

The title of the blog also refers to the fact that sometimes, when I'm in the appropriate mood, I fancy myself a writer (I was a creative writing major back in my undergrad days, so it's not just all in my head). So in addition to this being a space where I can bitch and moan about the indignities of the unemployed, it's also supposed to help spur my creative genious. Ha.

To start things off, one of the first items I'd like to complain about is the soul-sucking, vomit-inducing enterprise known as 'the interview.' I had two of them last week, and interestingly enough, the one that went the best was the one where I was more or less accused of being a liar right in the middle of the interview. It started out all lovely, one of the best interviews I'd ever had, with six funny and relaxed women just sitting around chatting about their jobs. Then one of them made a reference to the many courses I have taken in archives. Knowing myself as I do, I know that I have only taken two courses in archives, and asked the woman to which courses she was referring (she had been reading my course list from my online portfolio). Meanwhile, I had forgotten that some of the courses at my school were cross-listed (there being two master's programs in the school, one for libraries and a separate one for archives), which means that the courses have 'and archives' attached to the end of the title, such as 'Management of Libraries and Archives.' [Basically it's a meaningless gesture made to help the archival students at the school feel included, even though there's essentially no material regarding archives in any of those courses.]

Anyway, as soon as I registered puzzlement and asked the woman to explain, everyone in the room froze. Obviously they were all wondering how I could have forgotten about courses I had taken; the word LIAR may as well have been chiseled across my forehead. When she read out the titles of the courses to which she was referring I suddenly understood the problem and immediately tried to explain, but of course no one in this country understands the concept of a separate archival master's degree and I knew it was hopeless. So the next thing out of the library director's mouth is, 'Do you have any old professors that we could contact, or a transcript you could give us?' Then, immediately following this, 'You did graduate, didn't you?' Humiliations galore!

The interview the next day went marginally better, but I didn't really want that job so it doesn't matter. This morning I got a call for an interview at another library; the woman at the other end of the line never introduced herself, and when I asked who the interview was going to be with, she said it was going to be with her. The name Mary S. Thelen was in the job announcement and therefore I assumed Mary Thelen was the name of the library director. I had even began my cover letter with 'Dear Ms. Thelen.' So, still searching for a proper name, I asked, 'Are you Mary Thelen?' Silent pause. Then, 'Mary Thelen is the name of the library. I am Somebody Somebody.'

Hello, how am I supposed to know that when you don't put it in the job announcement and don't introduce yourself over the telephone? So that interview is bound to suck as well. Rest assured, I'll keep you posted.